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View Full Version : My nephew was born saturday am (and a bit of a vent)


karunamayi
02-11-2008, 05:41 PM
Little Lorenzo made his rather traumatic entrance on Saturday morning at 1:58 am. he came out very gray and floppy, apgar of 1 and not looking too good.

he did bounce back well, considering the trauma he underwent the whole 2 days prior.

After 20 minutes or so, he came back to the room with his dad while my sister was in recovery. I saw the most amazing thing, in all of my births and babies I've birthed myself, i never noticed. I was witness to this man falling in love with his son. It was beyond *bonding* but down right incredulity and sweet reverence that this tiny, beautiful being came from him.

he cooed and chatted and inspected and sniffed and cuddled and unwrapped and rewrapped and hugged and.... He just fell in love.

My sister was in recovery for 3 hours bc her epidural wasn't wearing off as it should, so the 3 of us sat there, in the middle of the night, and got to know each other.

he asked me has I circ'ed sterling. In my mind I thought *oooohhh SHIIIIIIT* but i suspect he was asking permission to *not* hurt his son vs really caring what I thought. I used the opportunity to tell him that my x and I fought over sterling' penis the entire pregnancy and it wasn't until he saw me endure the c/s that he decided that he never wanted to inflict pain on his son. *whew!*. My BIL got it, thankfully. But, we'll see who wins that conversation.

After 2 hours, I shooed dad to go check on his wife and I got to sit nicely with him for a while and understand what *aunt* means. It's a whole different type of love, you know?

When he came back, I tucked them both in to the bed cum couch and they dozed till my sister, the anti-family bedder, returned.

Today, nursing isn't going well and he is down 11% of his birth weight and there is very little milk in sight. She has a thyroid condition and apparently the thyroid is instrumental in the manufacturing of BM. The staff are looming nearby with a bottle of formula and a deadline of 5 pm.

I have tried to encourage her to get in touch with our excellent milk bank bc when they decide he needs to be supplemented it will be RIGHT NOW vs let me get this arranged.

i also offered to come and pump or nurse him myself but my sister and I are from different planets, so it was as if I didn't even speak.

I called my mom today and just said that I have to step back from this. i had no idea that the nursing/breast milk relationship was so close to my heart. Basically, baby is starving, getting frustrated and she is busy pumping which is good, eventually, and stressing over nipple confusion.

I have control issues and they are being tested right now. I just want to grab that baby and nurse him back up to health, but instead, I piss and moan here and cook for them.

Anyways, I now have a new hat! Auntie

Jill
02-11-2008, 07:32 PM
It's truly an amazing kind of love, I agree. When my first niece was born (at 24 weeks and a pound and a halfish) and I finally got to hold her, I remember just staring into her beatiful, perfect face and feeling this surge of something I had NEVER felt before. I was IN LOVE. As in unconditionally in love. I remember crying, and feeling like "omg if this is how it feels to love my niece, how will I ever have room in my heart for my own child?" She really opened my heart, that precious girl. :)

Sorry for the hijack...
OK...so wow, it's great that your BIL is considering not circing, I do hope your sister doesn't override him on this.
I'm sorry to hear she's not going to provide him with breastmilk - I feel your frustration and sadness and I would feel the same way. {{{{HUGS}}}}

Oh and his birth circumstances are eerily reminiscent of Drew's (1 apgar, bad epidural) so I feel the need to give many many extra {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to everyone especially baby...I will have you all in my thoughts, I hope he recovers fully from his traumatic birth and that things go well even if they aren't what you'd hoped for...

karunamayi
02-11-2008, 09:25 PM
Thanks Jill... So many emotions to deal with. The hardest part is to watch her decisions regarding feeding her son. In my fantasy-mind, there's a law that forbids what she's doing... lol

Vicky
02-12-2008, 10:52 AM
One of my sweetest memories is watching Paul sitting in a rocking chair with brand-new George while I was getting cleaned and stitched up (I had a tear that needed to be sutured). He sat there with the most amazed, besotted and sweet look gazing down at George and introducing him to the world - just speaking to him softly and gently.

Kerry
02-12-2008, 11:28 AM
Thanks Jill... So many emotions to deal with. The hardest part is to watch her decisions regarding feeding her son. In my fantasy-mind, there's a law that forbids what she's doing... lol

It sounds like the first priority is just that the baby needs to EAT, and that it's reached critical mode at this point. I'm not sure why you're so angry that she's giving him the supplementation that he needs right now. Like you yourself said, arranging milk from a milk bank isn't something that can be done in just a couple hours.

Gargoyle
02-12-2008, 02:42 PM
When I finally was coherent in the following days after my c-section, I remember watching dh with Jessie. It was so akward and hesitant but so like he was holding them most pricless museum artifact.

karunamayi
02-12-2008, 03:17 PM
no, there's a misunderstanding, kerry. OF COURSE the main priority is that the baby eats, yet she is refusing the supplementation, refusing to call the milk bank and refusing to allow me to pump or nurse. That's why the staff was looming nearby with a deadline of 5 pm bc they were dealing with her stubborness, so they had to draw the line.

Today, the baby has regained his 2nd day weight, so they are going uphill, thankfully.

Kerry
02-12-2008, 05:51 PM
no, there's a misunderstanding, kerry. OF COURSE the main priority is that the baby eats, yet she is refusing the supplementation, refusing to call the milk bank and refusing to allow me to pump or nurse. That's why the staff was looming nearby with a deadline of 5 pm bc they were dealing with her stubborness, so they had to draw the line.

Today, the baby has regained his 2nd day weight, so they are going uphill, thankfully.

Oh wow. I didn't realize that she was refusing ALL supplementation!

I'm glad to hear that baby is on the upswing!

MorgnsGrl
02-12-2008, 07:25 PM
i also offered to come and pump or nurse him myself but my sister and I are from different planets, so it was as if I didn't even speak.

Congratulations on the new nephew!

You rock for offering to pump for or nurse the baby to get him over the hump (although it sounds now like he's maybe over it already). I can't even begin to imagine refusing such a generous offer -- Amanda pumped for D when he was a newborn and I was so incredibly grateful that I get tears in my eyes every time I think of it.

{{{Karunamayi}}}

Amanda_Reyasmom
02-12-2008, 07:46 PM
Congratulations Auntie! :)

kellydog
02-13-2008, 12:38 AM
...

karunamayi
02-13-2008, 01:03 AM
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2242/2261637039_8b1be6e183_o.jpg

My sister, post epidural...
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2161/2262427686_396f9d5bb7_o.jpg

Enzo

Kathy
02-13-2008, 01:08 AM
Oh, my - he's just beautiful.

Jengirl
02-13-2008, 10:19 AM
Oh he's gorgeous.. I want to snuggle him..

Peggyann
02-13-2008, 10:24 AM
look at all that hair, just like Aidan as a newborn

**ovary twitchies**

Congrats, Auntie!!

~PA~

karunamayi
02-13-2008, 11:01 AM
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2197/2263167488_df0e945f26_o.jpg
Enzo, me and my cleavage. This is about 3:30 in the morning... Can you tell? lol


http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2273/2263167536_d49ee57146_o.jpg
Lala and Enzo.

Dad is Phillipino and I saw pics of him yesterday and those features are coming out more and more beautifully.

I really love him.

Peggyann
02-13-2008, 11:04 AM
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2197/2263167488_df0e945f26_o.jpg
Enzo, me and my cleavage. This is about 3:30 in the morning... Can you tell? lol


http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2273/2263167536_d49ee57146_o.jpg
Lala and Enzo.

Dad is Phillipino and I saw pics of him yesterday and those features are coming out more and more beautifully.

I really love him.

so adorable! and Holy smokes!! Look how grown up Lala looks!!!! :jaw:

~PA~

Vicky
02-13-2008, 11:26 AM
Oh my - they are both beautiful kids.

Look at that teeny perfect little face with that little pursed mouth!

karunamayi
02-13-2008, 11:43 AM
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2162/2263241114_e97c37886f_o.jpg

you can really see his features coming out in this one. :hearts:

Thanks everyone for your congrats!! Now, I will carry on, pretending that my sister is nurturing, mothering and feeding my nephew just as I do my own kids.... :silenced:

lunita
02-13-2008, 11:45 AM
Oh my gosh, I need to snuggle that baby. Sooo sweet!

Peggyann
02-13-2008, 11:55 AM
Oh my gosh, I need to snuggle that baby. Sooo sweet!

me too!!! gimme gimme gimme!!!!

~PA~

karunamayi
02-13-2008, 12:08 PM
When he was brought to me, I had never smelled that top-of-the-newborn-head-smell before. It was intoxicating!! I remember begging the nurses, or it seemed I was begging them, to know which soap they had used on him bc I *loved* the smell. I couldn't stop sniffing his head!

I remembered that with Chaya, Hladini-Shakti and now with Enzo. I *love* that newborn-baby-head smell. :angel:

So, when my BIL brought Enzo back, i said "sniff his head!!" and he did... and loved it, too.

Anyways, now we are all a group of newborn-baby-head-snif-junkies... lol