'School clothes'?

[MorgnsGrl]

For those of you whose kids go to school, do they wear different clothes to school than they do 'for play'? Do you let them wear clothes with stains and/or holes to school, and if so, how do you decide which clothes are 'too worn out' for school wear?

Dante is currently on a very-hard-on-pants phase. Most of his pants have a hole in the left knee (I don't know why it's always the left!) and therefore he does wear pants with a hole in the knee to school. There are a few pairs of pants with holes so big (bigger than a nickle) that I keep them for weekends and hanging around the house, but even with me doing two loads of laundry a week we don't have enough 'non-holey' pants for him to wear only those to school.

A small stain on a shirt sleeve cuff I'd ignore, especially if it was a favorite shirt, but otherwise clothes with easily visible stains are saved for weekends and craft time.

Just curious about what other people do!

[Sue]

I don't let them wear clothes with holes or stains to school. But they can on the weekend. Now if the girls put holes in all their pants (they do but it takes years of being passed down before that happens) I might be singing a different tune.


For those of you whose kids go to school, do they wear different clothes to school than they do 'for play'? Do you let them wear clothes with stains and/or holes to school, and if so, how do you decide which clothes are 'too worn out' for school wear?

Dante is currently on a very-hard-on-pants phase. Most of his pants have a hole in the left knee (I don't know why it's always the left!) and therefore he does wear pants with a hole in the knee to school. There are a few pairs of pants with holes so big (bigger than a nickle) that I keep them for weekends and hanging around the house, but even with me doing two loads of laundry a week we don't have enough 'non-holey' pants for him to wear only those to school.

A small stain on a shirt sleeve cuff I'd ignore, especially if it was a favorite shirt, but otherwise clothes with easily visible stains are saved for weekends and craft time.

Just curious about what other people do!

[MorgnsGrl]

I don't let them wear clothes with holes or stains to school. But they can on the weekend. Now if the girls put holes in all their pants (they do but it takes years of being passed down before that happens) I might be singing a different tune.

There've been two occasions on which D had on brand new pants that I had just bought NEW (as opposed to paid a few dollars for at the Salvation Army store), was playing at the bus stop before school, fell, and put a hole in the knee! We can't afford to keep him in non-holey pants at that rate. :p

[elizabeth]

There've been two occasions on which D had on brand new pants that I had just bought NEW (as opposed to paid a few dollars for at the Salvation Army store), was playing at the bus stop before school, fell, and put a hole in the knee! We can't afford to keep him in non-holey pants at that rate. :p

Iron on patches. You can packages of 2 in most "boy pant colors" for $1.29 at most fabric stores, or big box stores. They take a few minutes to set with the heat of a household iron.

This is the first year (Themi is 9 going on 10) that he has suffered from knee hole problems and iron on patches are my friend.

I don't distinguish between play clothes and school clothes, except that he can't wear sweat pants and nylon wind pants to school, and he has to keep at least one pair of pants nice for church.

I do have to do the latest round of knee patching tonight, so that he has pants to wear tomorrow to school.

I try to keep 5 pairs of pants in rotation, so that I can actually skip laundry a day or two during the week without suffering!

[mudcreekmama]

The only difference between play and school clothes here is too short outgrown skirts stay home or go on with jeans underneath (my girl has some hippie styling going on and is VERY attached to certain dresses she's been wearing for going on 4 years)...and no holes in tights at school - they contribute a great deal to modesty with a girl who still occasionally pulls her skirt over her head so I insist they actually cover up stuff! In the spring we'll go to bloomers/bike shorts under dresses.

With holes in knees and boys, well I'd prefer they didn't go to school in holey clothes so I patch em. And yeah the left knee always goes first here too.

[Jill]

no holey or stained clothes allowed for school. Actually I usually get rid of anything with stains or holes because the kids won't wear them anyway. Outgrown clothing sticks around until they no longer feel attached to it. Jordan has a hard time outgrowing clothes for some reason and she wears it to death here at home. No clue why but I don't have a problem with it as long as she isn't going out in public looking ridiculous or inappropriate.

They do have some clothing that isn't allowed under the dress code for school though, like tank tops and shortish shorts, halters - so those are automatically "play" clothes I guess.
I don't care what they wear here at home but I generally don't let them wear clothing in public that I don't feel looks "nice".

[Ali]

Uniforms all the way, baby ;)

I used to have very definite ideas about good clothes/play clothes. Dh doesn't. I had to let go of that, lol. If they go to TSC or the hardware with dh it is ok if they they wear rubber boots and shorts with a stained shirt. {deep breath} It is ok. I prefer that they don't, but it's a small thing.

I do have clear ideas about church clothes and going out to eat clothes. Also, my Mom does have standards if they go with her :p

My kids have always been so messy that it's been hard for me to keep their stuff looking nice anyway. That's why I've always counted on hand me downs and goodwill for their clothes. Why pay full price for new stuff when they will just wear it to play in or get ruined anyway? I want my kids to have fun without me stressing about how they look doing it.

[Peggyann]

School clothes- hung up in closet
Dress clothes - hung up in back of closet
play clothes- in dresser drawers

~PA~

[Rosemary]

Uniforms all the way, baby ;)

I used to have very definite ideas about good clothes/play clothes. Dh doesn't. I had to let go of that, lol. If they go to TSC or the hardware with dh it is ok if they they wear rubber boots and shorts with a stained shirt. {deep breath} It is ok. I prefer that they don't, but it's a small thing.

I do have clear ideas about church clothes and going out to eat clothes. Also, my Mom does have standards if they go with her :p

My kids have always been so messy that it's been hard for me to keep their stuff looking nice anyway. That's why I've always counted on hand me downs and goodwill for their clothes. Why pay full price for new stuff when they will just wear it to play in or get ruined anyway? I want my kids to have fun without me stressing about how they look doing it.

ntntnt

[elizabeth]

Uniforms all the way, baby ;)


[QUOTE=Rosemary;6131]ntntnt

So do you make them change out of their uniforms the second they walk in the door? What about after school activities? Do they have to come home and change first?

[Ali]

So do you make them change out of their uniforms the second they walk in the door? What about after school activities? Do they have to come home and change first?

Basically, yes. Dalton takes a change of clothes for after school stuff, or if going to a friends right from school.

[ADDled]

Jody went to school for pre, K, and 1st grades, Jaden went one year of pre. I didn't let them wear pants with holes or any clothes with stains to school. I did let them wear them around the house.

Jody wore the heck out of his pants. I did patch them BEFORE he even wore them the first time (on the inside) to reinforce when he was in the stage of ruining all his pants. And then, when there was a hole, I cut them off and hemmed them into shorts.

I shopped in the thrift store and paid about $1.50 per a pair of pants. And we had a lot of hand me downs. If I were paying full price, even Target sale prices, I couldn't have afforded to keep him in non-holey pants.

[Rosemary]

[QUOTE=Ali;6126]Uniforms all the way, baby ;)




So do you make them change out of their uniforms the second they walk in the door? What about after school activities? Do they have to come home and change first?

sometimes they will do their homework in their uniform still or if we are running errands, but they change before going out to activities, unless it is their gym uniform. It's not a big deal to us, just part of our routine. If we move, my younger two will be going to public school next year and I will be asking questions I'm sure :rolleyes:

[Brenda]

I don't care what they wear here at home but I generally don't let them wear clothing in public that I don't feel looks "nice".

This is me too. They can wear whatever at home, but when we are out, even to the store, I want them to look appropriate. It is hard sometimes with Miss Abigail and her razor blade knees (she just put a hole into a pair she has only had for 5 weeks!), but we do try.

There are also clothes that I do not let them wear for play or around the house, like Abigail's white pants, Vincent's argyle sweater vest or velvet dresses. I don't have to worry much about Isabella because she has an inborn neatness, but Abigail and Vincent are stain magnets.

[indigo]

For those of you whose kids go to school, do they wear different clothes to school than they do 'for play'? Do you let them wear clothes with stains and/or holes to school, and if so, how do you decide which clothes are 'too worn out' for school wear?

Dante is currently on a very-hard-on-pants phase. Most of his pants have a hole in the left knee (I don't know why it's always the left!) and therefore he does wear pants with a hole in the knee to school. There are a few pairs of pants with holes so big (bigger than a nickle) that I keep them for weekends and hanging around the house, but even with me doing two loads of laundry a week we don't have enough 'non-holey' pants for him to wear only those to school.

A small stain on a shirt sleeve cuff I'd ignore, especially if it was a favorite shirt, but otherwise clothes with easily visible stains are saved for weekends and craft time.

Just curious about what other people do!

We don't have different clothes for school and play. C wears whatever pants are clean and that he wants to put on. Sometimes they have grass stains and sometimes they have little holes in the knee. I don't worry about it. I don't think it matters or has any impact on his learning.

[ADDled]

We don't have different clothes for school and play. C wears whatever pants are clean and that he wants to put on. Sometimes they have grass stains and sometimes they have little holes in the knee. I don't worry about it. I don't think it matters or has any impact on his learning.
You're right that it doesn't impact learning - and honestly we do school here in our pjs most days or in various states of half-dress/undress or superhero costumes.

But clothes say something about you just as surely as other appearance things like makeup and hair, and the boys know what's generally considered appropriate for certain situations and why and what kinds of messages people might be getting if we choose to disregard those sorts of societal norms.

I'll also add that it WAS expected to not have holes in pants at both private schools the boys attended and though it was not a written rule and they would not have been sent home, it would have reflected upon the boys in the eyes of various people. If it ever became an issue we'd talk about appropriate ways to buck societal norms to send a message, but since it wasn't an issue (the boys don't care what they wear so far) we just sent them in whole and unstained pants.

[indigo]

You're right that it doesn't impact learning - and honestly we do school here in our pjs most days or in various states of half-dress/undress or superhero costumes.

But clothes say something about you just as surely as other appearance things like makeup and hair, and the boys know what's generally considered appropriate for certain situations and why and what kinds of messages people might be getting if we choose to disregard those sorts of societal norms.

I'll also add that it WAS expected to not have holes in pants at both private schools the boys attended and though it was not a written rule and they would not have been sent home, it would have reflected upon the boys in the eyes of various people. If it ever became an issue we'd talk about appropriate ways to buck societal norms to send a message, but since it wasn't an issue (the boys don't care what they wear so far) we just sent them in whole and unstained pants.


I don't know what kind of messages people would get if my kid has grass stained pants. i just assume that they'd think he was a kid who played in the grass. I see lots of kids with grass stains and little tears in their clothes so to me it's not that much of a societal norm to worry about. I don't know. Maybe people are drawing conclusions (correct or incorrect) by the fact that his pants don't look great. I've never observed any indication of that, and I guess I don't really worry about it.

When he goes to a nice restaurant or to synagogue (well, not ours; ours is very casual) he does wear nicer clothes. But I've just never put school in that category at all.

Honestly, it's hard enough for me to find him clothes in the morning that are clean and not totally high-water, the way he grows! Grass stains just aren't even anywhere near my priority list.

[Rosemary]

I don't know what kind of messages people would get if my kid has grass stained pants. i just assume that they'd think he was a kid who played in the grass. I see lots of kids with grass stains and little tears in their clothes so to me it's not that much of a societal norm to worry about. I don't know. Maybe people are drawing conclusions (correct or incorrect) by the fact that his pants don't look great. I've never observed any indication of that, and I guess I don't really worry about it.

When he goes to a nice restaurant or to synagogue (well, not ours; ours is very casual) he does wear nicer clothes. But I've just never put school in that category at all.

Honestly, it's hard enough for me to find him clothes in the morning that are clean and not totally high-water, the way he grows! Grass stains just aren't even anywhere near my priority list.


I say this because I've seen pictures of your kids and they look very much like my own in the dress respect. My kids wear uniforms so I don't have the school issue, but overall I don't care what my kids wear. None of the clothes we own are so beat up that I wouldn't consider them as innapropriate. Grass stains do happen, I try to get them out and am successful most times, but I won't throw away a pair of F's jeans because of grass stains - so that would be something I consider ok to wear just about anywhere. All our clothes are washed and taken care of, but they get worn. I don't have the time to worry about every little thing with their clothes, but again, I don't think we really own any clothes that are totally beat up.

[collier]

I'll also add that it WAS expected to not have holes in pants at both private schools the boys attended and though it was not a written rule and they would not have been sent home, it would have reflected upon the boys in the eyes of various people.

In support of this, I will say that in public school, dress is often used as a sign by teachers to decide whether there is neglect in the house. So, things like holes, stains, no socks in the absence of *knowing* the family, if often interpreted negatively. I think I am more tolerant on this issue, but people might be surprised to know how much *dress* is discussed in the teachers lounge.

Best!

[Sue]

Especially in the spring when I *know* it is almost time for capris and shorts, and I am *not* buying jeans for a few weeks because they hit a growth spurt.

Around here it is pretty easy to find non-stained non-ripped pants (my kids are easy on clothes) but ones thatfit in the length are getting rarer and rarer!


Honestly, it's hard enough for me to find him clothes in the morning that are clean and not totally high-water, the way he grows! Grass stains just aren't even anywhere near my priority list.

[MorgnsGrl]

In support of this, I will say that in public school, dress is often used as a sign by teachers to decide whether there is neglect in the house. So, things like holes, stains, no socks in the absence of *knowing* the family, if often interpreted negatively. I think I am more tolerant on this issue, but people might be surprised to know how much *dress* is discussed in the teachers lounge.

Well, that's unfortunate! We can't afford to buy DS new pants for every wearing, and even if we could I don't feel it's appropriate to throw away a pair of otherwise good pants because of a little hole or stain. Additionally (semi-off-topic) DS is currently in a phase where he will not allow me to cut his hair. It is long and kind of unruly in a between-short-and-long stage, and he does look a bit unkempt because of it, but I won't force him to have his hair cut if he doesn't want to (unless it were causing some sort of medical/health issue, which it's not.) I'd hate to think teachers at his school are deciding that he is neglected because of a hole in a two-day-old pair of pants, or because his hair is long.

[mowse]

For those of you whose kids go to school, do they wear different clothes to school than they do 'for play'? Do you let them wear clothes with stains and/or holes to school, and if so, how do you decide which clothes are 'too worn out' for school wear?

Yes. They wear a uniform to school.

No stains to school. If an item has a hole, the school will send home per dress code violation.


Dante is currently on a very-hard-on-pants phase. Most of his pants have a hole in the left knee (I don't know why it's always the left!) and therefore he does wear pants with a hole in the knee to school. There are a few pairs of pants with holes so big (bigger than a nickle) that I keep them for weekends and hanging around the house, but even with me doing two loads of laundry a week we don't have enough 'non-holey' pants for him to wear only those to school.

It is very easy to patch this sort of thing. I haven't read the entire thread to see if someone suggested this already. Patches are iron-on and you could just iron on a patch to reinforce the knees, too. Very inexpensive fix.

[mowse]

[QUOTE=Ali;6126]Uniforms all the way, baby ;)




So do you make them change out of their uniforms the second they walk in the door? What about after school activities? Do they have to come home and change first?

Yes, they have to change clothes when they get home. We don't have any directly after school activities, but if they did, yes I'd make them change their clothes!

[elsie]

the only clothing rule I have is that when we go to church, Abel has to wear a shirt with a collar.

Other than that, he can wear anything to school that he likes.

He's never made a hole in an article of clothing, though! And if I can't get a stain out, the clothes go to salvation army.

[ADDled]

In support of this, I will say that in public school, dress is often used as a sign by teachers to decide whether there is neglect in the house. So, things like holes, stains, no socks in the absence of *knowing* the family, if often interpreted negatively. I think I am more tolerant on this issue, but people might be surprised to know how much *dress* is discussed in the teachers lounge.

Best!
Yup, when I was teaching I learned very quickly to stay OUT of the teacher's lounge if at all possible if I needed to have a positive outlook that day. Honestly, it used to make me angry that kids had reps that followed them from grade to grade based on teacher lounge discussion/badmouthing - from appearance to parent personality to academics to behavior - everything is discussed in the lounge.

Jody, I know your school is kind of an utopia of goodwill, and that at your school the kids don't tease and the teachers always have the best interest of the kids at heart. I'm not saying that tongue-in-cheek - I've heard enough about your school to know that. But it's a rarity, I've found. I would not have sent a boy to school with torn knees in the private schools of which we've been a part. If I lived in your town and my kids went to your school, I might feel differently.

[Sue]

QUOTE=ADDled;6265]Yup, when I was teaching I learned very quickly to stay OUT of the teacher's lounge if at all possible if I needed to have a positive outlook that day. Honestly, it used to make me angry that kids had reps that followed them from grade to grade based on teacher lounge discussion/badmouthing - from appearance to parent personality to academics to behavior - everything is discussed in the lounge.
[/QUOTE]

For instance, right off the bat, if a child is struggling with reading it is because they don't live in a print-rich environment. Or if a kid is acting out at school, it is because he is having problems at home. Every single person I know whose child has had difficulties (any kind, barring severe disabilities) in school had to overcome an assumption that it was something/someone at home causing the issue. The parents have to prove (sometimes over and over again) that they are doing a*all* the right things. It is a little shocking for me to hear teachers think the worst of a family if they don't know them. But I have seen it on both sides. As a parent with a child with reading problems, sometimes I just want to take Gab in a say "AH HA, see?!? it's not my fault!" Or my poor friend whose son is possibly Aspergers being told it's her fault he can't socialize because he didn't' go to preschool. Nevermind the fact that she has been taking him to social skills classes for the past 2 years outside of school. And I have been in the teacher break room and heard some pretty outrageous assumptions made about families I know.

I wonder why they do that. theses are some of the most wonderful giving people but they can be very derogatory towards families they don't' know well.

[MorgnsGrl]

For instance, right off the bat, if a child is struggling with reading it is because they don't live in a print-rich environment. Or if a kid is acting out at school, it is because he is having problems at home. Every single person I know whose child has had difficulties (any kind, barring severe disabilities) in school had to overcome an assumption that it was something/someone at home causing the issue. The parents have to prove (sometimes over and over again) that they are doing a*all* the right things. It is a little shocking for me to hear teachers think the worst of a family if they don't know them. But I have seen it on both sides. As a parent with a child with reading problems, sometimes I just want to take Gab in a say "AH HA, see?!? it's not my fault!" Or my poor friend whose son is possibly Aspergers being told it's her fault he can't socialize because he didn't' go to preschool. Nevermind the fact that she has been taking him to social skills classes for the past 2 years outside of school. And I have been in the teacher break room and heard some pretty outrageous assumptions made about families I know.

I wonder why they do that. theses are some of the most wonderful giving people but they can be very derogatory towards families they don't' know well.

That's really depressing. :( We've worked so hard with DS to help him overcome his issues -- and he is, albeit slowly. It makes me feel deeply upset to think that the teachers at his school are making negative assumptions about our home life because of his speech disorder and low muscle tone. Even worse than it makes me feel to think they're assuming he is neglected because he rips holes in his pant knees before he's even worn them one day and we can't afford to replace them immediately.

[MorgnsGrl]

It is very easy to patch this sort of thing. I haven't read the entire thread to see if someone suggested this already. Patches are iron-on and you could just iron on a patch to reinforce the knees, too. Very inexpensive fix.

Wouldn't a patch look just as obvious? I remember patches from when I was a kid and they were always half-peeling-off, came off in the wash, etc. Maybe they're better these days?

Can you use a patch on sweatpants? He prefers elastic-waist pants so that is what most of his are.

[collier]

QUOTE=ADDled;6265]

I wonder why they do that. theses are some of the most wonderful giving people but they can be very derogatory towards families they don't' know well.

I don't know. I personally do not do this. But, I think my world view is pretty different from the average teacher. For example, I believe that kids have sensory issues that effect clothing choice. So, rather than assume no socks = bad parents, I assume no socks = child hates to wear socks. Now this may not be true, and it might be home life, but it is where I start. In one child's case, I see her fight her clothes (and fight a lot of other things too) so I know it is likely sensory AND control issues. Also, I asked her (novel!) and she told me "I don't like to wear them."

I am also the teacher that didn't make my class wear their coats about a month ago because it was the warmest day on record, about 60 degrees. (This was done much to the chagrin of many of my colleagues -- and because of that I probably wouldn't do it in the future, even though I think it was fine.)

But, it is important that people know this. I do think it comes from the interest of the children, but it also comes from a place of judgment and ignorance, imo.

Best!

[collier]

That's really depressing. :( We've worked so hard with DS to help him overcome his issues -- and he is, albeit slowly. It makes me feel deeply upset to think that the teachers at his school are making negative assumptions about our home life because of his speech disorder and low muscle tone. Even worse than it makes me feel to think they're assuming he is neglected because he rips holes in his pant knees before he's even worn them one day and we can't afford to replace them immediately.

(((((Amy)))) I am sorry. I don't know for certain. I will tell you that smell is the biggest issue. So, if D does take a bath regularly, I think that most of these other issues get over looked. But, I know plenty of good parents whose kids fight baths enough that smell is triggered.

Again, I am sorry.

Best!

[Sensitive Topic]

Yes and I've heard from the teacher's lounge that parents who advocate for their PPD-NOS child and their Asperger's child and know the correct lingo must have Munchausen Syndrome. Don't dare have two kids needing special services!!!

It is really horrifying to me that parents are so often treated like the enemy.

[Jill]

I say this because I've seen pictures of your kids and they look very much like my own in the dress respect. My kids wear uniforms so I don't have the school issue, but overall I don't care what my kids wear. None of the clothes we own are so beat up that I wouldn't consider them as innapropriate. Grass stains do happen, I try to get them out and am successful most times, but I won't throw away a pair of F's jeans because of grass stains - so that would be something I consider ok to wear just about anywhere. All our clothes are washed and taken care of, but they get worn. I don't have the time to worry about every little thing with their clothes, but again, I don't think we really own any clothes that are totally beat up.

we rarely even get stains on clothes around here. And the only holes we've had have been caused by something snagging - Emily seems to get herself "caught up" on things like drawer pulls somewhat regularly LOL (like mother like daughter I guess, I've pulled jeans pockets' off that way!) but they've never just "worn out" their clothes. OK, not YET. :)

BUT - our school does have a no holes rule - they do expect the kids to show up looking nice/decent. It doesn't mean it has to be fashionable, perfect clothing but it's expected that they are in general "presentable" and I have no problem with that expectation.

[mowse]

Wouldn't a patch look just as obvious? I remember patches from when I was a kid and they were always half-peeling-off, came off in the wash, etc. Maybe they're better these days?

Can you use a patch on sweatpants? He prefers elastic-waist pants so that is what most of his are.

you put them on the inside of the pants!

I know if you get a good patch on a snag in a pair of jeans you can't tell at all.

I would imagine you could patch the inside. I certainly wouldn't do the outside. But you can darn a hole in sweatpants.

[lunita]

For those of you whose kids go to school, do they wear different clothes to school than they do 'for play'? Do you let them wear clothes with stains and/or holes to school, and if so, how do you decide which clothes are 'too worn out' for school wear?
!

Amanda went through a "very hard on clothes" stage last year, related to a game she played at recess every day that involved crawling around a lot on her hands and knees (she was a tiger...) The pants got hard to keep up with, and there were days that she simply had to go to school with the holes AND she liked it that way. I guess we would have been in trouble if she was at a school with a no-holes policy. I did start searching thrift stores for cheap pants to replace the ones she was tearing up, and within a month (probably less) I had enough used jeans without holes and the rate of formation of new holes seemed to decrease when I suggested that she was causing the holes by the way she was crawling (she still played tigers, but I think she stayed off her knees a little more). I went as far as buying iron-on patches (to be placed on the inside of the jeans, like Micki suggested) and pretty patches to cover up the outside, but I never got around to using them. Honestly, I think the patches cost as much as a pair of jeans from the thrift store.... even if I had used them, they were probably a waste of money.

We also have some stained shirts in the "play or pajamas only" category (my kids like to wear knit shorts/pants and t-shirts to bed, rather than traditional pajamas a lot of the time) but I really try to limit those. We only keep something hopelessly stained if they really love it and can't bear to part with it. I don't usually let them go to school in anything with an obvious stain anywhere one it.

[MorgnsGrl]

But you can darn a hole in sweatpants.

Um, maybe YOU can! :rofl:

Thanks! I'll experiment with some of the patches.

[indigo]

Yes. They wear a uniform to school.

No stains to school. If an item has a hole, the school will send home per dress code violation.



It is very easy to patch this sort of thing. I haven't read the entire thread to see if someone suggested this already. Patches are iron-on and you could just iron on a patch to reinforce the knees, too. Very inexpensive fix.

Yeah, but, honestly, the hole doesn't bother me or my kids. There is no rule at our school about it. My kids don't like the look of patches. So there's no real motivation for me to worry about it.

[indigo]

For those of you whose kids go to school, do they wear different clothes to school than they do 'for play'? Do you let them wear clothes with stains and/or holes to school, and if so, how do you decide which clothes are 'too worn out' for school wear?

Dante is currently on a very-hard-on-pants phase. Most of his pants have a hole in the left knee (I don't know why it's always the left!) and therefore he does wear pants with a hole in the knee to school. There are a few pairs of pants with holes so big (bigger than a nickle) that I keep them for weekends and hanging around the house, but even with me doing two loads of laundry a week we don't have enough 'non-holey' pants for him to wear only those to school.

A small stain on a shirt sleeve cuff I'd ignore, especially if it was a favorite shirt, but otherwise clothes with easily visible stains are saved for weekends and craft time.

Just curious about what other people do!

Also, about stains, *I* have shirts with stains on them that I wear. I'm such a slob when I eat and drink! I need a bib! I seem to get these stains on my shirts that look like, I don't know, "water stains." They're not discolored, just dark. I don't know what the hell I spill on them to make that. But I don't get rid of a shirt just because it has that.

I guess I don't really notice things like that on other people, and I don't make judgment, and I just assume that other people are occupied with bigger things as well! I don't mean to sound judgmental about people who do make judgments (lol) just that I really never think about it. I don't really think that anybody notices how I look or cares. And same for my kids.

I guess it's true that my kids have been in an unusual situation for school up to now, in that there really is very little teasing. Plus it's small enough that I was usually friends with the teachers. (Lots of parents are.) So maybe if they had gone somewhere else to school I would have thought of it, that someone might judge them badly because of a grass-strained knee (although I think that would be really pathetic and small!) But since it hasn't been our experience, I just can't really say.

[MorgnsGrl]

Yeah, but, honestly, the hole doesn't bother me or my kids. There is no rule at our school about it. My kids don't like the look of patches. So there's no real motivation for me to worry about it.

Yeah, Dante couldn't care less about a hole in his pant leg unless it's BIG. And he would prefer to wear his comfy, elastic waist sweatpants with a hole in the knee than jeans (which might be sturdier).

[MorgnsGrl]

Also, about stains, *I* have shirts with stains on them that I wear. I'm such a slob when I eat and drink! I need a bib! I seem to get these stains on my shirts that look like, I don't know, "water stains." They're not discolored, just dark. I don't know what the hell I spill on them to make that. But I don't get rid of a shirt just because it has that.

LOL!! I'm glad it's not just me. I have a couple of shirts/sweatshirts with little flecks of paint on them, and I keep wearing them because if I get rid of them, what will I wear NEXT time I have to paint? :hiding

[MorgnsGrl]

(((((Amy)))) I am sorry. I don't know for certain. I will tell you that smell is the biggest issue. So, if D does take a bath regularly, I think that most of these other issues get over looked. But, I know plenty of good parents whose kids fight baths enough that smell is triggered.

{{{Margaret}}} It's not your fault!

[collier]

{{{Margaret}}} It's not your fault!

I appreciate that. I just feel very badly about it, because it is very unfair.

Best!

[Rosemary]

we rarely even get stains on clothes around here. And the only holes we've had have been caused by something snagging - Emily seems to get herself "caught up" on things like drawer pulls somewhat regularly LOL (like mother like daughter I guess, I've pulled jeans pockets' off that way!) but they've never just "worn out" their clothes. OK, not YET. :)

BUT - our school does have a no holes rule - they do expect the kids to show up looking nice/decent. It doesn't mean it has to be fashionable, perfect clothing but it's expected that they are in general "presentable" and I have no problem with that expectation.

I say I don't really care what my kids wear most places (they wear uniforms to school) but in reality there are really no clothes that are so bad that would be obvious. Now, generally when sweats get those nasty stains I do keep them for muddy soccer practices and baseball practices (he has to wear long pants for sliding and they get that icky dirt/mud on them) and I don't think they have ever tried to wear them to anywhere but a practice.

[Rosemary]

Amanda went through a "very hard on clothes" stage last year, related to a game she played at recess every day that involved crawling around a lot on her hands and knees (she was a tiger...) The pants got hard to keep up with, and there were days that she simply had to go to school with the holes AND she liked it that way. I guess we would have been in trouble if she was at a school with a no-holes policy. I did start searching thrift stores for cheap pants to replace the ones she was tearing up, and within a month (probably less) I had enough used jeans without holes and the rate of formation of new holes seemed to decrease when I suggested that she was causing the holes by the way she was crawling (she still played tigers, but I think she stayed off her knees a little more). I went as far as buying iron-on patches (to be placed on the inside of the jeans, like Micki suggested) and pretty patches to cover up the outside, but I never got around to using them. Honestly, I think the patches cost as much as a pair of jeans from the thrift store.... even if I had used them, they were probably a waste of money.

We also have some stained shirts in the "play or pajamas only" category (my kids like to wear knit shorts/pants and t-shirts to bed, rather than traditional pajamas a lot of the time) but I really try to limit those. We only keep something hopelessly stained if they really love it and can't bear to part with it. I don't usually let them go to school in anything with an obvious stain anywhere one it.


Oh yeah we do the ratty old tshirts become pajamas here, actually for me too :p

[sarahs]

Yeah, but, honestly, the hole doesn't bother me or my kids. There is no rule at our school about it. My kids don't like the look of patches. So there's no real motivation for me to worry about it.

In fact my youngest's favorite jeans have a hole in the knee. I can relate. When I love my jeans I will wear them until they are in rags.

[sarahs]

No. My kids wear pretty much anything to school and they wear the same clothes to school, on the weekends, etc. I cringe at some of the stained shirts my youngest pulls out but if it doesn't bother her, I figure it shouldn't bother me. And yea, add me to the crew that can't eat without spilling it all over themselves so most of my clothing is stained as well. I buy most of their clothing second hand so I won't care that they are hard on it.

There is no dress code at their school. Kids are to wear clothes conducive to learning. That covers pretty much anything and everything.

I grew up having to wear a dress or skirt every single fucking day when I was in elementary school. There was very much a dichotomy between school clothes and play clothes. Why didn't my parents get that I spent time on the playground at school.

So I guess I went the opposite direction and gave my kids a lot of control over their clothing choices. And I think the particular community we are in makes no judgment based on holey clothes.

[indigo]

There is no dress code at their school. Kids are to wear clothes conducive to learning. That covers pretty much anything and everything.

.

Oh yeah, I should have mentioned this too. Our school says for kids to wear clothes that it's ok to mess up! I think that sort of sets the tone for the expectations are as far as clothes. the only time I've heard teachers express anything negative about kids' clothes is when they wear really nice clothes and then get upset (or the parent gets upset) at them getting messed up!!

[mirage1]

This is the first year Cassie hasn't made holes in her jeans. Maybe it's because she was too tall to play with the other kids if she was standing up on her feet. :rofl:

I can't remember for sure, but I suspect she has gone to school in jeans with holes in the knees. We try not to do that, or highwaters, or stains...don't always succeed, but we try!

[Vicky]

Also, about stains, *I* have shirts with stains on them that I wear. I'm such a slob when I eat and drink! I need a bib! I seem to get these stains on my shirts that look like, I don't know, "water stains." They're not discolored, just dark. I don't know what the hell I spill on them to make that. But I don't get rid of a shirt just because it has that.

I guess I don't really notice things like that on other people, and I don't make judgment, and I just assume that other people are occupied with bigger things as well! I don't mean to sound judgmental about people who do make judgments (lol) just that I really never think about it. I don't really think that anybody notices how I look or cares. And same for my kids.


George is rough on his clothing and always has been. I have insisted that he wear something decent if we are going to some event or something (which is rare - he hates large groups of people), but school? I honestly don't care, as long as it fits reasonably. His pants are all ripped at the cuff (because that's the way he likes them) and he has holes in some of his favorite shirts (but that's the way he likes them). I let him dress how he wants for the most part - he looks like a normal teen. He was the same way when he was younger. I just don't stress about it because it really isn't important to me.

[mudcreekmama]

I was talking with a friend who runs a daycare centre - it isn't Montessori, but it is similar - they do a whole lot of gardening and messy art :-) I can't think of what the philosophy term is right now, similar to Reggia... but she has had parents pull their kids out because their clothes get too dirty! She's very clear that they need to come to daycare in play clothes. Its not like they don't smock up the kids for art etc, they do, but kids get grass stains and muddy playing outside, and people send their kids in pretty little dresses and white tights!

[Peggyann]

Oh yeah we do the ratty old tshirts become pajamas here, actually for me too :p


~PA~

[candeo]

In support of this, I will say that in public school, dress is often used as a sign by teachers to decide whether there is neglect in the house. So, things like holes, stains, no socks in the absence of *knowing* the family, if often interpreted negatively. I think I am more tolerant on this issue, but people might be surprised to know how much *dress* is discussed in the teachers lounge.

Best!

My kid has three pairs of pants that he is willing to wear, and two of them are identical. The other one looks almost exactly the same (they're all sports pants). We do our best not to send him off smelly and filthy, but those pants are definitely showing their age right now, and to the casual observer it could easily appear that he wears the same thing every single day.

I'm not actually worried, because his teacher knows us and I think it's pretty obvious we're not neglecting him. And I wouldn't have thought that teachers would be having the kinds of conversations that you describe, but now that you say it, I can totally see it. In most cases I know that teachers really don't have very much to go on in regards to assessing what's happening with students outside school.

[macaquinha]

Also, about stains, *I* have shirts with stains on them that I wear. I'm such a slob when I eat and drink! I need a bib! I seem to get these stains on my shirts that look like, I don't know, "water stains." They're not discolored, just dark. I don't know what the hell I spill on them to make that. But I don't get rid of a shirt just because it has that.

I guess I don't really notice things like that on other people, and I don't make judgment, and I just assume that other people are occupied with bigger things as well! I don't mean to sound judgmental about people who do make judgments (lol) just that I really never think about it. I don't really think that anybody notices how I look or cares. And same for my kids.

I guess it's true that my kids have been in an unusual situation for school up to now, in that there really is very little teasing. Plus it's small enough that I was usually friends with the teachers. (Lots of parents are.) So maybe if they had gone somewhere else to school I would have thought of it, that someone might judge them badly because of a grass-strained knee (although I think that would be really pathetic and small!) But since it hasn't been our experience, I just can't really say.

Put me here -- except that my kids have been in boring standard public schools. I have never had a problem with their being teased or my being considered neglectful even when they go to school with what some might consider to be ragged clothing.

Or maybe I just haven't noticed. :dunno:

[Debra]

Wouldn't a patch look just as obvious? I remember patches from when I was a kid and they were always half-peeling-off, came off in the wash, etc. Maybe they're better these days?

Can you use a patch on sweatpants? He prefers elastic-waist pants so that is what most of his are.

I admit it, I don't patch. I'd save a little money but I think it just looks like holey jeans with a band-aid. I'd rather see the holes (but I still remember when holey jeans were COOL. LOL).

And I remember picking at my peeling patches when I was a kid. :eek:

[Debra]

My kid has three pairs of pants that he is willing to wear, and two of them are identical. The other one looks almost exactly the same (they're all sports pants). We do our best not to send him off smelly and filthy, but those pants are definitely showing their age right now, and to the casual observer it could easily appear that he wears the same thing every single day.

I'm not actually worried, because his teacher knows us and I think it's pretty obvious we're not neglecting him. And I wouldn't have thought that teachers would be having the kinds of conversations that you describe, but now that you say it, I can totally see it. In most cases I know that teachers really don't have very much to go on in regards to assessing what's happening with students outside school.

He is in a very, VERY hard on pants stage. He accidentally destroyed a pair of jeans recently and he only had 3 pairs left (and one pair of very worn cords). So now he's down to two pairs of jeans that are nearly indentical looking and the old cords. And both the jeans have holes in the knees (which happened in the first week I bought them) but he thinks the holey jeans are ultra cool. :cool: So I'm not worrying about it too much. We are so close to shorts weather anyway. I am going to buy him 2 new pairs this weekend because 3 pairs of pants for school, play, etc. is not enough, but I'm having to let go a bit re: the holes.

[Debra]

For those of you whose kids go to school, do they wear different clothes to school than they do 'for play'? Do you let them wear clothes with stains and/or holes to school, and if so, how do you decide which clothes are 'too worn out' for school wear?

Dante is currently on a very-hard-on-pants phase. Most of his pants have a hole in the left knee (I don't know why it's always the left!) and therefore he does wear pants with a hole in the knee to school. There are a few pairs of pants with holes so big (bigger than a nickle) that I keep them for weekends and hanging around the house, but even with me doing two loads of laundry a week we don't have enough 'non-holey' pants for him to wear only those to school.

A small stain on a shirt sleeve cuff I'd ignore, especially if it was a favorite shirt, but otherwise clothes with easily visible stains are saved for weekends and craft time.

Just curious about what other people do!

We just have "clothes". ;) There are a few beloved old t-shirts of Colin's that I have designated for jammies. He simply cannot part with his Pikachu shirts and that's fine, but he can't wear them to school. That and sweatpants/nylon pants just because we use those as jammies.

I really hear you on the holes issue. Alex *rarely* wore out ANY clothes or shoes, mostly he just GREW out of them. Colin is a very hard playing little boy and these days all of his pants get holes in the knees in the first week. So I've just let it go a bit.

I don't send the kids to school or out and about (playing outside doesn't count) in clothes with holes, rips or stains. Jeans are the only exception, but I think ripped/holey jeans are different from ripped/holey khakis. I couldn't even really explain why. LOL

I think our boys are only a few months apart, right? Colin is a 7/00 baby. Our boys sound so similar. :) Right down to the holey knees!

[Jeb]

DD went to a school that required a formal uniform...jumpers, shirts, tie, sweaters with emblems, etc. While the financial output in the beginning was a lot...so it seemed....in the long run I discovered that we spent far less money on clothing this way. There were no battles over what she was going to wear each day and there was no peer pressure to compete with fashion at school. Rather than having a new non-uniform outfit every day she had the uniform...enough pieces to last a week. For play clothes I discovered she needed a lot less that if she did not have a uniform.

DS goes to a different school that also requires a uniform of sorts. All kids must wear the school t-shirt or sweatshirt. They are plain t-shirts or polo shirts with the school logo and come in a variety of colors. Pants are your choice. Sweatshirts are also like the shirts with school logo and various colors. DS has 3 t-shirts and 2 sweatshirts and I think I paid about $80 for it all. It will last him all year.

As a kid, we had play clothes and school clothes...however, that was in the 60's when girls were required to wear proper dresses to school. We had my boy cousin's hand-me-downs for play time after school.