Kerry's lyin' and stealin' thread made me think of this....

[indigo]

Not just that thread, but many throughout the years. I am so grateful to have yaaps. So many parents (and non-parents) just think in terms of making a kid "pay" for what he did, through punishment. It's so refreshing to hear so many intelligent women (and man) discuss how to teach values and responsibility, and at the same time maintain or even strengthen the relationship between parents and kids.

I firmly believe that the strength of our relationship with our kids is our strongest "discipline" tool!

[mirage1]

Not just that thread, but many throughout the years. I am so grateful to have yaaps. So many parents (and non-parents) just think in terms of making a kid "pay" for what he did, through punishment. It's so refreshing to hear so many intelligent women (and man) discuss how to teach values and responsibility, and at the same time maintain or even strengthen the relationship between parents and kids.

I firmly believe that the strength of our relationship with our kids is our strongest "discipline" tool!Yes, yes, yes... :yay::notworthy::grouphug::hearts:

[ecilA]

It really is. The other day when we met the neighbors and her little girl it was because my daughter had decided to run across the street (eep) and so I took her back over to meet them and to let the mother know that if my 5 year old showed up alone, it was not approved by me, that she would always be accompanied by a sibling or me.

Her daughter wanted to play and she asked if they could (which we did) but her mom replied "I think her daughter is in trouble" and I was kind of struck by it. My daughter wasn't "in trouble", yes, the crossing the road is not acceptible but there was no "in trouble" about it, we'd already dealt with the issue before going over there (and to me that meant trying to help my daughter understand that it was dangerous and she was simply not to do it.) I didn't go into it with her beyond saying that it was ok with me for them to play a while and I had just wanted to let her know that P wasn't allowed to cross the street alone.

Anyway, I rarely encounter parents who view discipline as I do and it is very nice to be able to come here and read and participate in discussions that jive with my feelings about it.

[mirage1]

It really is. The other day when we met the neighbors and her little girl it was because my daughter had decided to run across the street (eep) and so I took her back over to meet them and to let the mother know that if my 5 year old showed up alone, it was not approved by me, that she would always be accompanied by a sibling or me.

Her daughter wanted to play and she asked if they could (which we did) but her mom replied "I think her daughter is in trouble" and I was kind of struck by it. My daughter wasn't "in trouble", yes, the crossing the road is not acceptible but there was no "in trouble" about it, we'd already dealt with the issue before going over there (and to me that meant trying to help my daughter understand that it was dangerous and she was simply not to do it.) I didn't go into it with her beyond saying that it was ok with me for them to play a while and I had just wanted to let her know that P wasn't allowed to cross the street alone.

Anyway, I rarely encounter parents who view discipline as I do and it is very nice to be able to come here and read and participate in discussions that jive with my feelings about it.Ugh... I remember that from when I was a kid, if someone was In Trouble because they'd done whatever thing had annoyed his or her parent that day, their whole lives were on hold. "Bobby didn't finish his scrambled eggs and now he's In Trouble so he can't play outside with us." Kind of weird when you think about it.

[niteowll]

Not just that thread, but many throughout the years. I am so grateful to have yaaps. So many parents (and non-parents) just think in terms of making a kid "pay" for what he did, through punishment. It's so refreshing to hear so many intelligent women (and man) discuss how to teach values and responsibility, and at the same time maintain or even strengthen the relationship between parents and kids.

I firmly believe that the strength of our relationship with our kids is our strongest "discipline" tool!
yes, I totally agree. I look at my children, and think that the fine people they are turning out to be is in part due to the support I received from you all for my 'weird parenting'.

All those times I was so embarrassed about some of the things my kids did, and I posted here and got so much support and feedback...... the suggestions and help with OT, ADHD, IEP's etc.... it has made a world of difference!

((GROUP HUG))

[niteowll]

Ugh... I remember that from when I was a kid, if someone was In Trouble because they'd done whatever thing had annoyed his or her parent that day, their whole lives were on hold. "Bobby didn't finish his scrambled eggs and now he's In Trouble so he can't play outside with us." Kind of weird when you think about it.
Speaking of In Trouble...

My kids and I joke around because I would say "you are in Big Serious Trouble" about silly things, or when I know I have to deal with something but want to cool down and have an appropriate reaction and thus appropriate consequence... So my children have now abbreviated it to B.S.T. and we laugh and laugh. Now, imagine when your child has seriously done something wrong, and instead you and your other child says "oh oh, Susie is in B.S.T." and all of you break into hysterical laughter...