Please help me help my kitty.....

[Debra]

Gracie and Cheese are both one year old, and while they are not "blood" sisters they were adopted on the same day and are very close. They are indoor cats (we live across the street from a small "canyon" that has coyotes) that never give up on trying to get outside. Last Wednesday night DH got home from work about 1:00 am and Gracie ran outside when he opened the front door. He tried to catch her for a while then woke me up to help. We tried together for another hour to find her but I finally had to go back to bed since I had to work the next day. Gracie never came back. :sob::sob::sob::sob::sob:We have fliers up everywhere and I've posted on Craigslist but no Gracie. We are all just devastated. :( :( :(

Cheese is the one I am most worried about. Cheese cries a lot, and walks around the house looking for Gracie. She has become withdrawn and is only eating if we give her canned food. She's not drinking much water either unless I put a cup of water on the bathroom counter and pretend it's mine. She's also hiding more. She's a very sweet kitty, and was the more docile one. I guess you could say Gracie was the "alpha" cat and Cheese liked it that way. We are giving her a lot of attention right now but we don't know what else to do for her.

How do we help a grieving, lonely cat that has never been alone? Is it better to get her a companion at some point? Is it better NOT to? Honestly, I think if it was Gracie that found herself an "only" cat she'd be much better off than poor Cheesie. I don't think Cheese is an "only" cat type. I'm going to take Cheese to the vet this week to get their opinion and just get her checked out. I feel very uneasy and helpless. And sad. :( We have a very depressed household right now. :(

Any BTDT?

(Gracie is the gray one and Cheese is the brown tabby)

[niteowll]

Cheese is the one I am most worried about. Cheese cries a lot, and walks around the house looking for Gracie. She has become withdrawn and is only eating if we give her canned food. She's not drinking much water either unless I put a cup of water on the bathroom counter and pretend it's mine. She's also hiding more. (Gracie is the gray one and Cheese is the brown tabby)

I'm sorry :( I would take her to the vet before I would get a companion just to rule something out. I wouldn't doubt it was depression, sounds like it could be, but I'm not a vet...
Had they ever tried sneaking out before? It seems weird that she just darted out like that.

I'm thinking of you. ((hugs))

[Amanda_Reyasmom]

I feel very uneasy and helpless. And sad. :( We have a very depressed household right now. :(



{{{{{Debra and family}}}} I'm so sorry. I think I'd be inclined to try and find a friend for Cheese. Also, maybe some rescue remedy in her (your ;)) water would help.

[hamamelis]

(((Debra & Cheese))) what a sad situation. :grouphug:

Homeopathic ignatia can help with grief. Perhaps adding some to her food would help.

[threecubs]

{{{{{Debra}}}}} I don't know how to help, but I do know that when my cat is only eating wet food, he drinks a lot less, almost none at all.

[Debra]

I'm sorry :( I would take her to the vet before I would get a companion just to rule something out. I wouldn't doubt it was depression, sounds like it could be, but I'm not a vet...
Had they ever tried sneaking out before? It seems weird that she just darted out like that.

I'm thinking of you. ((hugs))

Thank you. Yes, Gracie is ALWAYS trying to get outside. It's gotten worse since spring has hit. Cheese doesn't try much, but Gracie has been relentless.

[Debra]

{{{{{Debra}}}}} I don't know how to help, but I do know that when my cat is only eating wet food, he drinks a lot less, almost none at all.

Thanks Toni, that seems obvious now that I think about it.

[Debra]

{{{{{Debra and family}}}} I'm so sorry. I think I'd be inclined to try and find a friend for Cheese. Also, maybe some rescue remedy in her (your ;)) water would help.

Thanks Amanda, maybe I'll go get some today. I used to have some ages ago.

[anastasia]

Gracie and Cheese are both one year old, and while they are not "blood" sisters they were adopted on the same day and are very close. They are indoor cats (we live across the street from a small "canyon" that has coyotes) that never give up on trying to get outside. Last Wednesday night DH got home from work about 1:00 am and Gracie ran outside when he opened the front door. He tried to catch her for a while then woke me up to help. We tried together for another hour to find her but I finally had to go back to bed since I had to work the next day. Gracie never came back. :sob::sob::sob::sob::sob:We have fliers up everywhere and I've posted on Craigslist but no Gracie. We are all just devastated. :( :( :(

Cheese is the one I am most worried about. Cheese cries a lot, and walks around the house looking for Gracie. She has become withdrawn and is only eating if we give her canned food. She's not drinking much water either unless I put a cup of water on the bathroom counter and pretend it's mine. She's also hiding more. She's a very sweet kitty, and was the more docile one. I guess you could say Gracie was the "alpha" cat and Cheese liked it that way. We are giving her a lot of attention right now but we don't know what else to do for her.

How do we help a grieving, lonely cat that has never been alone? Is it better to get her a companion at some point? Is it better NOT to? Honestly, I think if it was Gracie that found herself an "only" cat she'd be much better off than poor Cheesie. I don't think Cheese is an "only" cat type. I'm going to take Cheese to the vet this week to get their opinion and just get her checked out. I feel very uneasy and helpless. And sad. :( We have a very depressed household right now. :(

Any BTDT?

(Gracie is the gray one and Cheese is the brown tabby)

{{{Debra and Cheesie and family}}} Oh, that sounds so hard. I think I would ask the vet for suggestions, or even call an animal shelter and see what they think. Another young companion may be just the thing.

[Debra]

(((Debra & Cheese))) what a sad situation. :grouphug:

Homeopathic ignatia can help with grief. Perhaps adding some to her food would help.

Thanks Lynn, I've never heard of that, I'll see if HFS has it.

[Debra]

{{{Debra and Cheesie and family}}} Oh, that sounds so hard. I think I would ask the vet for suggestions, or even call an animal shelter and see what they think. Another young companion may be just the thing.

Thanks Tasia. I'll definitely ask the vet about it. I just feel numb right now.

[threecubs]

Thank you. Yes, Gracie is ALWAYS trying to get outside. It's gotten worse since spring has hit. Cheese doesn't try much, but Gracie has been relentless.

It always amazes me how different cats can be. My best friend has a cat that is terrified of the door, and will not go outside. Our cat has always wanted to get out, since day one. We tried and tried making him an indoor cat, and when we moved into our new house we thought we might have accomplished it. He was afraid of our screen door, it made a hissing sounds when it closed. As he started getting more comfortable here, the struggle began. He would get aggressive with us if we didn't let him out, so now he goes out. He hurt DH really bad once, so we don't fight with him anymore. I always worry about him out there, but he is so much nicer and friendlier when he's been out.

[Debra]

It always amazes me how different cats can be. My best friend has a cat that is terrified of the door, and will not go outside. Our cat has always wanted to get out, since day one. We tried and tried making him an indoor cat, and when we moved into our new house we thought we might have accomplished it. He was afraid of our screen door, it made a hissing sounds when it closed. As he started getting more comfortable here, the struggle began. He would get aggressive with us if we didn't let him out, so now he goes out. He hurt DH really bad once, so we don't fight with him anymore. I always worry about him out there, but he is so much nicer and friendlier when he's been out.

I *hate* making my cats stay in. I feel terrible about it. I don't think it's natural, anymore than a bird in a cage. But as long as we live in this neighborhood (at the very least) going outdoors is not an option. :( In 18 years of owning cats that were indoor/outdoor we never had any problems. Since moving here it has been a big problem so my kitties have to live under house arrest. I am grateful that Cheese doesn't seem to mind so much. She has actually seemed a lot more content at being inside since Gracie disappeared. Maybe she was only interested because Gracie was interested?? That had never occurred to me before.

[threecubs]

I *hate* making my cats stay in. I feel terrible about it. I don't think it's natural, anymore than a bird in a cage. But as long as we live in this neighborhood (at the very least) going outdoors is not an option. :( In 18 years of owning cats that were indoor/outdoor we never had any problems. Since moving here it has been a big problem so my kitties have to live under house arrest. I am grateful that Cheese doesn't seem to mind so much. She has actually seemed a lot more content at being inside since Gracie disappeared. Maybe she was only interested because Gracie was interested?? That had never occurred to me before.

Oh, I'm so sorry Debra! I just wanted to share about my cat because I was hoping you didn't feel guilty about Gracie getting out. Sometimes you try all you can and it just happens. :( I hope I didn't make you feel bad, and I am really glad that Cheese hasn't wanted to go out! I know how hard it is to keep them in. :sob:

[Anne]

Oh (((((((Debra))))))). I am so sorry. I have no advice or anything, but oh, this just makes me so sad for you guys. :(

[Vicky]

Gracie and Cheese are both one year old, and while they are not "blood" sisters they were adopted on the same day and are very close. They are indoor cats (we live across the street from a small "canyon" that has coyotes) that never give up on trying to get outside. Last Wednesday night DH got home from work about 1:00 am and Gracie ran outside when he opened the front door. He tried to catch her for a while then woke me up to help. We tried together for another hour to find her but I finally had to go back to bed since I had to work the next day. Gracie never came back. :sob::sob::sob::sob::sob:We have fliers up everywhere and I've posted on Craigslist but no Gracie. We are all just devastated. :( :( :(

Cheese is the one I am most worried about. Cheese cries a lot, and walks around the house looking for Gracie. She has become withdrawn and is only eating if we give her canned food. She's not drinking much water either unless I put a cup of water on the bathroom counter and pretend it's mine. She's also hiding more. She's a very sweet kitty, and was the more docile one. I guess you could say Gracie was the "alpha" cat and Cheese liked it that way. We are giving her a lot of attention right now but we don't know what else to do for her.

How do we help a grieving, lonely cat that has never been alone? Is it better to get her a companion at some point? Is it better NOT to? Honestly, I think if it was Gracie that found herself an "only" cat she'd be much better off than poor Cheesie. I don't think Cheese is an "only" cat type. I'm going to take Cheese to the vet this week to get their opinion and just get her checked out. I feel very uneasy and helpless. And sad. :( We have a very depressed household right now. :(

Any BTDT?

(Gracie is the gray one and Cheese is the brown tabby)

I know how my two youngest cats would feel if the other was gone - they are so close and snuggle up together often. I think getting another kitten would cheer everyone up, personally. The adjustment might be rough at first for Cheese, but in the long run I think everything would smooth out and Cheese would be happier. {{{hugs}}} to everyone.

[aleutsi]

Any BTDT?

(Gracie is the gray one and Cheese is the brown tabby)

{{{{{Debra}}}}} It's so hard when pets get loose and run off. You hate to give up all hope because you hear stories of pets finding their way home (I've had cats and dogs come back to me), but then you don't ever have that closure.

I hate to ask, but what happened to Diego? He inspired me to get my Jaz (I thought of him when I saw her).

[Artemis]

No advice. But, I'm very sorry. (((((Debra)))))

[Debra]

Oh, I'm so sorry Debra! I just wanted to share about my cat because I was hoping you didn't feel guilty about Gracie getting out. Sometimes you try all you can and it just happens. :( I hope I didn't make you feel bad, and I am really glad that Cheese hasn't wanted to go out! I know how hard it is to keep them in. :sob:

Toni, of course you didn't make me feel bad! :kiss: You actually made me feel better. I *am* feeling guilty but I don't know what I could have done. In the past when I've had a cat that was so insistent on getting out I've just given in, but that didn't turn out so well. With these two I've done everything I could to keep them in. It's worked with Cheese but obviously it didn't work so well with Gracie in the end. And I do feel terrible. :( As long as we live here our cats will be indoors only, we have no choice.

Thank you for helping me feel better. :heart:

[Debra]

Oh (((((((Debra))))))). I am so sorry. I have no advice or anything, but oh, this just makes me so sad for you guys. :(

Thanks, Anne.

I know how my two youngest cats would feel if the other was gone - they are so close and snuggle up together often. I think getting another kitten would cheer everyone up, personally. The adjustment might be rough at first for Cheese, but in the long run I think everything would smooth out and Cheese would be happier. {{{hugs}}} to everyone.

Thanks Vicki. We just got back from a pet supply store and that was the advice they gave us as well. We are thinking about it. Cheese is doing a little better, we bought her some new kitty toys and have been playing with her and she has seemed to perk up a bit.

{{{{{Debra}}}}} It's so hard when pets get loose and run off. You hate to give up all hope because you hear stories of pets finding their way home (I've had cats and dogs come back to me), but then you don't ever have that closure.

I hate to ask, but what happened to Diego? He inspired me to get my Jaz (I thought of him when I saw her).

Thanks, Annie. Diego was the cat that I wavered on keeping indoors only. Over a period of six months he broke all of our screens trying to get outside (even though he was neutered). We finally gave up and just let him come and go. About 15 months ago he got hit by a car. :( That's why I've been so adamant about these baby girls being indoors only.

No advice. But, I'm very sorry. (((((Debra)))))

Thanks, Brenda.

Thanks to all, I appreciated the advice and the hugs. It's been an emotional weekend for all of us.

I may be posting in the next few days with pics of my porch, looking for screening advice. DH and I have decided we are going to try to screen off our porch so that there is less chance of the cats slipping out, and they get the chance to get some fresh air. We're going to try to grow grass in pots to keep on the porch for them. Has anyone done this before? Does it work?

Thanks again.

[MorgnsGrl]

Oh, Debra, I'm so sorry! {{{{Debra and family}}}}

I've heard good things about giving kitties both Rescue Remedy and Feliway? Maybe the vet can confirm that, or suggest something else.

[hamamelis]

We're going to try to grow grass in pots to keep on the porch for them. Has anyone done this before? Does it work?


I do it for our kitties (all indoor) I just plant grass or wheat grass in pots and leave them for the cats to chew on. Only one of them seems to use the pots, but it's easy to grow.

[aleutsi]

Thanks, Annie. Diego was the cat that I wavered on keeping indoors only. Over a period of six months he broke all of our screens trying to get outside (even though he was neutered). We finally gave up and just let him come and go. About 15 months ago he got hit by a car. :( That's why I've been so adamant about these baby girls being indoors only.



I'm so sorry! My Jaz is always seeking to get outside as well, but after what happened to our dogs two years ago, I've been very adamant keeping her in. She's torn through screens and even window unit ACs to escape. She has been fixed, also. My theory is she was rescued as a stray living under a house with her sister - I think she was born and lived outside for the first few months and I'm hoping she'll get over desperately seeking the outdoors.

{{{{{More Hugs}}}}} I'm so sorry for your losses.

[mirage1]

{{{Debra, Cheese and family}}} I'm sorry!

[sarahs]

I'm so sorry Debra! (nt)

[sarahs]

Toni, of course you didn't make me feel bad! :kiss: You actually made me feel better. I *am* feeling guilty but I don't know what I could have done. In the past when I've had a cat that was so insistent on getting out I've just given in, but that didn't turn out so well. With these two I've done everything I could to keep them in. It's worked with Cheese but obviously it didn't work so well with Gracie in the end. And I do feel terrible. :( As long as we live here our cats will be indoors only, we have no choice.

Thank you for helping me feel better. :heart:

Oh don't feel bad Debra! I have the same problem. One cat who is relentless in trying to get out and one who hangs back. They seem especially anxious to get out in the spring. Must be some primal urge. The one stalks the door waiting for us to open it. And he has slipped out quite a few times, usually at inconvenient moments. The only good thing is we have a large yard and he has never gotten beyond our borders but its scary! You did everything you could to protect her. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself some extra loving just like you are giving Cheese.