Modern Orthodox Judaism Question

[shannon]

As part of my work towards conversion, I have to attend services with all other available denominations in my city. So, tonight, I'll be attending a Modern Orthodox shul. One question: do I need to cover my hair? I've only ever been to egalitarian services so far, where the expectation is either that everyone wear a head covering or that it's optional for everyone, so I'm a little lost here. I'm also going alone, so it should be interesting, navigating the mechitza business. I'll just follow the women and hope for the best, I think.

Thanks!

-s.

[Storymama]

At the Modern Orthodox synagogues I've been to, only married women cover their hair. It's a personal choice (and sometimes, a matter of local convention) about whether a divorced woman uncovers her hair. The more progressive women I know feel it's what is most appropriate (and in effect, says, "I'm available" LOL) but I also know divorced women who feel it is the provenance of never-married women to remain uncovered.

What, you thought there was one answer :p?

When in doubt, wear a hat.

The mechitza won't be hard - really, it's plain as day which way to go. Don't be shocked if there is a lot of quiet talking among the rows; it's a little Old World like that. Also don't be shocked if the Rabbi bangs on the podium for quiet. Both sides take it with a grain of salt.

Also, you may want to know that I don't know too many women who go to pray Friday night, because they are busy at home. (Shabbos gets started at home after dad gets home.) I'm sure there are *some* - but don't be shocked if the turnout is low. It's more of a Saturday morning thing for women + men.

How are you getting there and back?

[shannon]

At the Modern Orthodox synagogues I've been to, only married women cover their hair. It's a personal choice (and sometimes, a matter of local convention) about whether a divorced woman uncovers her hair. The more progressive women I know feel it's what is most appropriate (and in effect, says, "I'm available" LOL) but I also know divorced women who feel it is the provenance of never-married women to remain uncovered.

What, you thought there was one answer :p?

When in doubt, wear a hat.

The mechitza won't be hard - really, it's plain as day which way to go. Don't be shocked if there is a lot of quiet talking among the rows; it's a little Old World like that. Also don't be shocked if the Rabbi bangs on the podium for quiet. Both sides take it with a grain of salt.

Also, you may want to know that I don't know too many women who go to pray Friday night, because they are busy at home. (Shabbos gets started at home after dad gets home.) I'm sure there are *some* - but don't be shocked if the turnout is low. It's more of a Saturday morning thing for women + men.

How are you getting there and back?

Yeah, I was the only woman. And I kept my toque on. :) I took the bus, as the synagogue is at the opposite end of town. I snuck in, sat alone, followed along as best I could (given that I'm still working with transliterations), and left immediately afterward. It was a good experience for me to have, and I didn't feel unwelcome, but it really is a different feeling than an egalitarian service, to be sure. It was also a lot more serious than my havurah, which is, by its nature, a far more participatory congregation.

Thanks, Mandi, and I never expect one answer for ANYTHING Jewish. :rofl:

[indigo]

Yeah, I was the only woman. And I kept my toque on. :) I took the bus, as the synagogue is at the opposite end of town. I snuck in, sat alone, followed along as best I could (given that I'm still working with transliterations), and left immediately afterward. It was a good experience for me to have, and I didn't feel unwelcome, but it really is a different feeling than an egalitarian service, to be sure. It was also a lot more serious than my havurah, which is, by its nature, a far more participatory congregation.

Thanks, Mandi, and I never expect one answer for ANYTHING Jewish. :rofl:

I love reading about your journey. Post more! And if you're ever in North Carolina you must go to our congregation for a service!

[sarahs]

...

Thanks, Mandi, and I never expect one answer for ANYTHING Jewish. :rofl:

So true!

I'm glad this journey has been so positive for you Shannon.

[mirage1]

Yeah, I was the only woman. And I kept my toque on. :) I took the bus, as the synagogue is at the opposite end of town. I snuck in, sat alone, followed along as best I could (given that I'm still working with transliterations), and left immediately afterward. It was a good experience for me to have, and I didn't feel unwelcome, but it really is a different feeling than an egalitarian service, to be sure. It was also a lot more serious than my havurah, which is, by its nature, a far more participatory congregation.
I'm glad it was a good experience, Shannon. You are brave, venturing into such unfamiliar territory. :)