Have you discussed abortion with your child?

[MadAboutYou]

We were flipping through the TV channels (something we don't usually do, erg!) and there was something that flashed on there, not sure if it was the news or something else, that said, "we save the whales, and kill the children" which was obviously anti-abortion. So, dd asked what do they mean, kill the children?" She was obviously horrified and thinking they meant killing kids.

So, I explained what abortion meant, she didn't even know the word, and tried to tell her in pretty non-graphic way. She wanted to know how they "killed" the baby, and at what point it was a baby and not a bunch of cells, and why people would do that (get an abortion). I explained to her that some people would get pregnant in not-positive ways (briefly explained rape, yikes, and that sometimes girls got pregnant at a very young age and sometimes people just aren't ready, etc) and would feel like having a baby at that point in time wasn't a good choice for them. This was a hard thing to discuss because dd is very naive in many ways.

I did tell her that I would never feel right having an abortion but that it wasn't my place to decide for other women and they should be free to make the choice they thought was best.

I'm wondering how other people have handled this. I am worried that I gave her too much information but she kept asking questions! Have you discussed things like abortion and rape with your 10 y.o.? Did you give details or just sort of skim over the information?

Fwiw, I'm not trying to debate whether abortion is right or wrong or moral or not. I'm not trying to debate my stance. I am just curious about how other people have approached this subject (if at all) with their kids.

[karunamayi]

yes, we have. We approached very philosophically, to us, and they periodically ask questions about it as their knowledge matures.

I have always been very frank with my kids about these types of topics. I feel better that they know through the eyes of our faith than through the (ass? lol of the) media.

[lunita]

Just recently Amanda was asking about party differences and what issues divided people, and that eventually evolved into very simple and straightforward explanation of what abortion was, why some people believed the right to chose to have an abortion was important and why some people feel it is wrong. I was mostly skimming over things, and Amanda didn't really probe for more information. (she turned 9 in January, so I think she's a bit more than a year younger than C).

[Storymama]

I think you handled it very, very well - I think if the child keeps asking more questions, then you haven't crossed that TMI line at all, she's telling you she is digesting the material and thinking about it (regardless of the subject.)

I honestly cannot remember when or how we broached the subject at this stage . . . obviously, by their ages, A & T are very aware of it. I have this strong feeling it may have come about in a similar discussion - I guess election years are good for that :loveit:.

It's tough talking to our kids about things we have strong feelings about one way or another, but still want them to be able to feel their own way as they move out into the world . . . all those biggies, I want them to know it's okay if they examine the issues closely and a different side of it resonates with them. Like, it's okay if they are more or less religious than me . . . it's okay if they end up more or less conservative/liberal than me, etc.

They damn well just better breastfeed :p.

[cinnamon]

I think you handled it very, very well - I think if the child keeps asking more questions, then you haven't crossed that TMI line at all, she's telling you she is digesting the material and thinking about it (regardless of the subject.)

I honestly cannot remember when or how we broached the subject at this stage . . . obviously, by their ages, A & T are very aware of it. I have this strong feeling it may have come about in a similar discussion - I guess election years are good for that :loveit:.

It's tough talking to our kids about things we have strong feelings about one way or another, but still want them to be able to feel their own way as they move out into the world . . . all those biggies, I want them to know it's okay if they examine the issues closely and a different side of it resonates with them. Like, it's okay if they are more or less religious than me . . . it's okay if they end up more or less conservative/liberal than me, etc.

They damn well just better breastfeed :p.

I agree with Mandi, I think you handled it really well, especially sharing your moral view while at the same time letting her know that it's Ok for others to feel differently.

It's never come up with my kids, but when it does I want to handle it just like you did, Jamie.

Oh, and DITTO your last line Mandi. There are A LOT of things I'll accept from my kids, but not nursing... that would be a tough pill to swallow, considering that I nurse (or plan to nurse) them for YEARS and YEARS! :moon:

[mudcreekmama]

Ditto on the nursing!

It hasn't come up with my daughter yet (7, nearly 8)

Its been a topic with our older sons the oldest ...at 13, the next at 12. We've tried to keep our personal feelings out of it, but they do know our feelings now that they're in their teens - we're both morally opposed to abortion but politically prochoice and we'd (and have) wear placards in the street to protect a woman's right to choose.

As they're sons we've talked a lot about it being a woman's choice - whatever her choice - and their responsibility in supporting that is part of responsible sexuality.

Its going to be harder talking with my daughter.

[MorgnsGrl]

I am just curious about how other people have approached this subject (if at all) with their kids.

I have, but only on a very superficial level. D is 7 1/2 and very interested in science and medicine, and loves the book 'It's So Amazing' (which is about sex and how babies are born etc.) I can't remember the context, but I know we've discussed how sometimes a woman will get pregnant but chooses not to continue with the pregnancy, and that doctors have a way of ending the pregnancy while the fetus is still so small that it could barely be seen and can't live outside the mother's body. He pretty much took that in and moved on to another topic -- he wasn't all that interested. He is more interested in talking about adoption and reasons why people adopt babies.

[riversprite]

We were flipping through the TV channels (something we don't usually do, erg!) and there was something that flashed on there, not sure if it was the news or something else, that said, "we save the whales, and kill the children" which was obviously anti-abortion. So, dd asked what do they mean, kill the children?" She was obviously horrified and thinking they meant killing kids.

So, I explained what abortion meant, she didn't even know the word, and tried to tell her in pretty non-graphic way. She wanted to know how they "killed" the baby, and at what point it was a baby and not a bunch of cells, and why people would do that (get an abortion). I explained to her that some people would get pregnant in not-positive ways (briefly explained rape, yikes, and that sometimes girls got pregnant at a very young age and sometimes people just aren't ready, etc) and would feel like having a baby at that point in time wasn't a good choice for them. This was a hard thing to discuss because dd is very naive in many ways.

I did tell her that I would never feel right having an abortion but that it wasn't my place to decide for other women and they should be free to make the choice they thought was best.

I'm wondering how other people have handled this. I am worried that I gave her too much information but she kept asking questions! Have you discussed things like abortion and rape with your 10 y.o.? Did you give details or just sort of skim over the information?

Fwiw, I'm not trying to debate whether abortion is right or wrong or moral or not. I'm not trying to debate my stance. I am just curious about how other people have approached this subject (if at all) with their kids.

I don't have a 10yo but I have a 9.5 year old and no, she does not know about abortion or rape. It has never come up in conversation or anywhere else. We do not watch the news with the kids.
The only way that it might come up would be if we were driving in the car and a news segment came on the radio. I have been known to change stations or turn it off when something upsetting comes on the radio news. (homicides, car crashes that kill etc) I don't know if I would change it if abortion was mentioned but I would for rape.

[Jill]

We were flipping through the TV channels (something we don't usually do, erg!) and there was something that flashed on there, not sure if it was the news or something else, that said, "we save the whales, and kill the children" which was obviously anti-abortion. So, dd asked what do they mean, kill the children?" She was obviously horrified and thinking they meant killing kids.

So, I explained what abortion meant, she didn't even know the word, and tried to tell her in pretty non-graphic way. She wanted to know how they "killed" the baby, and at what point it was a baby and not a bunch of cells, and why people would do that (get an abortion). I explained to her that some people would get pregnant in not-positive ways (briefly explained rape, yikes, and that sometimes girls got pregnant at a very young age and sometimes people just aren't ready, etc) and would feel like having a baby at that point in time wasn't a good choice for them. This was a hard thing to discuss because dd is very naive in many ways.

I did tell her that I would never feel right having an abortion but that it wasn't my place to decide for other women and they should be free to make the choice they thought was best.

I'm wondering how other people have handled this. I am worried that I gave her too much information but she kept asking questions! Have you discussed things like abortion and rape with your 10 y.o.? Did you give details or just sort of skim over the information?

Fwiw, I'm not trying to debate whether abortion is right or wrong or moral or not. I'm not trying to debate my stance. I am just curious about how other people have approached this subject (if at all) with their kids.

We had a very similar conversation not long ago, for a similar reason. She caught something on TV and it went from there.
I know how it feels to wonder if you shared too much, but if she's like Jordan (and I think she is very much so :)) she wouldn't have been satisfied without a relatively indepth discussion. This age is so .....on the verge, ykwim? I don't want to spoil her innocence but she WANTS to KNOW and I want her to hear it from ME.
I think you did great, Jamie!

[kathy caribe]

I honestly don't know. How bad is that? It's not a concept I would have introduced, nor is it one I would have avoided. I know that E and R know about it, we've talked about it, but I'm just not sure about M.

I'll join you on the "don't know" couch. My 13 and 11yo's were introduced to rape last year thanks to our visit home but AFAIK, they are still clueless on abortion. Obviously, the 6 and 8yo are clueless on rape and abortion. I'm not sure that the boys (older) have extrapolated the sexual violence of rape to molestation and abuse, but I wouldn't be surprised if they had not. All four live in fantasy lands where they are absolutely SHOCKED when they find out anything negative (punishment, rules, etc.) about childhood for anyone.

[kathy caribe]

I don't have a 10yo but I have a 9.5 year old and no, she does not know about abortion or rape. It has never come up in conversation or anywhere else. We do not watch the news with the kids.
The only way that it might come up would be if we were driving in the car and a news segment came on the radio. I have been known to change stations or turn it off when something upsetting comes on the radio news. (homicides, car crashes that kill etc) I don't know if I would change it if abortion was mentioned but I would for rape.

I have done the same thing. When the guy who confessed to the Jon Benet killing was apprehended in Thailand? way back, NPR would have it on their hourly news segments and I kept the remote in hand so I could turn it off. I just didn't want to kill that little part of them (it will happen, I'm sure) that thinks that adults care for little ones.

[mudcreekmama]

Yeah we keep to "light" stuff on the radio and we don't watch television at all - too many videos this sickly spring though...but it never came up during "the Secret of Roan Inish" :loveit:

[Tracy]

Yes. I have discussed it with both of my girls. They overheard an unfortunate discussion some neighbors had been having regarding birth defect testing and choosing abortions. They didn't know what it meant to they asked me while we were driving in the car one day. I was frank with them as I always try to be when they ask questions and it went as well as could be expected. They asked how I feel about them and discussed how they were feeling.

[mowse]

I was not happy to broach the subject like we had to. Our church is near planned parenthood and there was a protest. So I got to explain that some people for whatever reason, no longer want to be pregnant. Leelee asked about whether or not it was murder, and I really did not want to go there with her. I basically said that there's debate about when the Spirit enters the body and because of that some people think it is and some people don't.

She got quiet and then said she thought it was wrong.

The conversation blew right past Alex who went on discussing mercenaries and abortion in a way that only made sense in his own little mind. :lol: I guess you had to be there. Conversations with Alex can sometimes go in very weird directions.

[Kerry]

Yes, we did actually have this discussion with Nick about a month or so ago. We were online at Cafe Press and I was looking for a good pro-choice bumper sticker (I bought one that says "Nurses for Choice" - Mac bought one that said "Nice Hummer. Sorry about your penis."). Nick asked what "pro-choice" meant and so we got into a discussion about abortion. We just answered any questions he had in what we hoped was a factual, non-biased way (while still letting him know what our opinion was). And yes, we did also talk about it in the context of the election and political parties.

[Kerry]

Oh, and DITTO your last line Mandi. There are A LOT of things I'll accept from my kids, but not nursing... that would be a tough pill to swallow, considering that I nurse (or plan to nurse) them for YEARS and YEARS! :moon:

I feel really fortunate that I'm able to have another baby when my kids are older and are able to understand better than they did when they were 2 or 3. They see me breastfeed Leo and it's just how it is. I'm hoping that they will just accept it as what you do with babies, and not even consider that there are other options. Especially Camille - whenever he cries, she says "Mom, he needs mummies!"

[Kootiepoot]

Yes. the older two and I have actually had some interesting conversation/debates on the subject. DD however has not really talked about it, even though she has heard the boys and I talking.

This is typical for our house, The boys like to debate all sorts of issues, often arguing both sides. DD just doesn't show interest. If she does ask questions I simply answer the question and if she wants more information she will ask but she just doesn't get into philisophical discussions, she's like dad there. The boys however have been like this since they were little.

[Jill]

... I just didn't want to kill that little part of them (it will happen, I'm sure) that thinks that adults care for little ones.

Why do you think it'll happen?
My children, ok let's use Jordan as an example - she knows that there are some heinous crimes out there commited by some pretty horrible people, but she has the balance of knowing that MOST people are good. I assure you that she has not lost her belief in humanity, or her security that grown ups care for little ones :)

I just don't think it has to be so all or nothing.

[Jill]

... All four live in fantasy lands where they are absolutely SHOCKED when they find out anything negative (punishment, rules, etc.) about childhood for anyone.

What is shocking and negative about having rules during childhood?
I feel like you are making some really sweeping generalizations and I'm trying to wrap my brain around your thinking..

[Jill]

What is shocking and negative about having rules during childhood?
I feel like you are making some really sweeping generalizations and I'm trying to wrap my brain around your thinking..

OK I am LOL cause I just had a lightbulb moment on my way out the door. You follow NCP, that's why! DUH JILL. I totally forgot.
I don't *agree* that it's negative, but I understand why you do and I respect your feelings :)

[kathy caribe]

OK I am LOL cause I just had a lightbulb moment on my way out the door. You follow NCP, that's why! DUH JILL. I totally forgot.
I don't *agree* that it's negative, but I understand why you do and I respect your feelings :)

Yeah, the world is a pretty shocking place for my kids. We generally don't make decisions without consensus; from listening to music in the car to moving to a new place. So the fact that our neighbor kids have no choice in when and how their hair will be cut is a huge shock to my kids. :) But it also leads to so many interesting conversations and discussions.

And a teensy correction; we follow NVC (Non Violent Communication) but it has been bastardized with NCP though I differ from the NCP people in not concretely believing that each and every situation has a consentual solution, but they would say that that lack of belief is my downfall and while I see their viewpoint and will admit that it is entirely possible, I will also admit that I have decided not to try that hard. I try as hard as I can and sometimes I will simply say, "there is no consensus here and we're just all going to have to deal with the person/s who are not getting their needs met" and leave it at that.

[indigo]

Yeah, the world is a pretty shocking place for my kids. We generally don't make decisions without consensus; from listening to music in the car to moving to a new place. So the fact that our neighbor kids have no choice in when and how their hair will be cut is a huge shock to my kids. :) But it also leads to so many interesting conversations and discussions.

And a teensy correction; we follow NVC (Non Violent Communication) but it has been bastardized with NCP though I differ from the NCP people in not concretely believing that each and every situation has a consentual solution, but they would say that that lack of belief is my downfall and while I see their viewpoint and will admit that it is entirely possible, I will also admit that I have decided not to try that hard. I try as hard as I can and sometimes I will simply say, "there is no consensus here and we're just all going to have to deal with the person/s who are not getting their needs met" and leave it at that.

I hope that they do eventually grow to not see the world as such a shocking place. It's really quite lovely. :-)

[~PQ]

It's never come up here, even with my 15 yr old. If they ask I will tell them but to me it is such a loaded issue with so many differing points of view I don't have a clue how or when to present it... so I'm just not.

[kathy caribe]

I hope that they do eventually grow to not see the world as such a shocking place. It's really quite lovely. :-)

I honestly don't really believe that you are concerned about my kids. They do see the world as a lovely place and I can't imagine what would lead you to believe that they do not see the world as a lovely place.

Are you trying to make a larger point other than your concern that my kids do not see the world as a lovely place? Because that is the way you are coming across.

[Bickery]

Yes, we did actually have this discussion with Nick about a month or so ago. We were online at Cafe Press and I was looking for a good pro-choice bumper sticker (I bought one that says "Nurses for Choice" - Mac bought one that said "Nice Hummer. Sorry about your penis."). Nick asked what "pro-choice" meant and so we got into a discussion about abortion. We just answered any questions he had in what we hoped was a factual, non-biased way (while still letting him know what our opinion was). And yes, we did also talk about it in the context of the election and political parties.

OMG it took me forever to figure out how a "nice" hummer would result in a damaged penis :spit: :jester:

[indigo]

I honestly don't really believe that you are concerned about my kids. They do see the world as a lovely place and I can't imagine what would lead you to believe that they do not see the world as a lovely place.

Are you trying to make a larger point other than your concern that my kids do not see the world as a lovely place? Because that is the way you are coming across.

No, it truly made me sad when you said that the world was so shocking to them. Maybe you didn't really mean it the way it sounded to me? But it did sound (to me, at least) like they did NOT find the world a lovely place.

[Jill]

And a teensy correction; we follow NVC (Non Violent Communication) but it has been bastardized with NCP though I differ from the NCP people in not concretely believing that each and every situation has a consentual solution, but they would say that that lack of belief is my downfall and while I see their viewpoint and will admit that it is entirely possible, I will also admit that I have decided not to try that hard. I try as hard as I can and sometimes I will simply say, "there is no consensus here and we're just all going to have to deal with the person/s who are not getting their needs met" and leave it at that.

That sounds very reasonable to me, thank you for explaining!

[Jill]

No, it truly made me sad when you said that the world was so shocking to them. Maybe you didn't really mean it the way it sounded to me? But it did sound (to me, at least) like they did NOT find the world a lovely place.

That was my initial reaction too but then when that brick came flying at me from outer space, I reframed it to mean that THEIR world was a lovely place and that Kathy does what she can to protect them from the not so lovely elements for now. I have mixed feelings because it just depends on the entire context of their lives AND it's not my business LOL *but* I think she might have meant that they were shocked to find that OTHER people's worlds were not as lovely. Or wouldn't be for THEM.
Or something like that LOL.
ANyway, I am so not on the same page but when I sat back and considered Kathy's feelings I was able to see it in a different context, even if I don't agree.
I hope I haven't mischaracterized you, Kathy!

[indigo]

That was my initial reaction too but then when that brick came flying at me from outer space, I reframed it to mean that THEIR world was a lovely place and that Kathy does what she can to protect them from the not so lovely elements for now. I have mixed feelings because it just depends on the entire context of their lives AND it's not my business LOL *but* I think she might have meant that they were shocked to find that OTHER people's worlds were not as lovely. Or wouldn't be for THEM.
Or something like that LOL.
ANyway, I am so not on the same page but when I sat back and considered Kathy's feelings I was able to see it in a different context, even if I don't agree.
I hope I haven't mischaracterized you, Kathy!
I was talking about the world at large. I thought she meant that her kids generally found the world at large generally a shocking place. If so I do find it sad but like I said, maybe I don't understand. I mean, sure, there are negative elements to the world but the way I read her post she was talking about the world as a whole, like just about everything out there is horrible. That's why I said that I hoped that they didn't always feel that way. And that's how I feel. I'd hate for any kids to feel that the world is that shocking of a place. Of course I might have taken the statement a totally wrong way. Wouldn't be the first time.

[~PQ]

I was talking about the world at large. I thought she meant that her kids generally found the world at large generally a shocking place. If so I do find it sad but like I said, maybe I don't understand. I mean, sure, there are negative elements to the world but the way I read her post she was talking about the world as a whole, like just about everything out there is horrible. That's why I said that I hoped that they didn't always feel that way. And that's how I feel. I'd hate for any kids to feel that the world is that shocking of a place. Of course I might have taken the statement a totally wrong way. Wouldn't be the first time.

I read it the same way as you, one thing that occurred to me though is I attributed negative connotations to the word shocking (as in shocking means upsetting) but perhaps she meant it another way- as in shocking = surprising, and her kids are surprised to find people all do things differently and live different kinds of lives, and maybe in some scenarios thats bad, but in others it is good.

[Tracy]

*LOL* I red it as hAmmer and I was like...Ouch?(nt)

[indigo]

I read it the same way as you, one thing that occurred to me though is I attributed negative connotations to the word shocking (as in shocking means upsetting) but perhaps she meant it another way- as in shocking = surprising, and her kids are surprised to find people all do things differently and live different kinds of lives, and maybe in some scenarios thats bad, but in others it is good.

Oh, maybe that was it. I definitely read it as negative. Perhaps you're right. I think that kids can definitely see *their* life as *normal* and then see others as really surprising. I know I did as a kid.

[Storymama]

I was really glad that the family Amelia spent time with while we were in Cleveland (nannying for them, as part of her homeschool) were a nursing/cosleeping family, a big part of A's job was managing things around the baby's need to nurse, and therefore mama's need to sit and nurse. (The family is Jewish, and they called it "noshies" - which is adorable, but I've never heard from another family LOL!) I think it gave her that next level of BF awareness, a really clear eyed look at how to incorporate it (even with four kids!) and so on.

[Storymama]

When my (big!) kids think they have something to kvetch about - oh, life is so hard and they have so little (lol!) . . . I always pointedly go, "You're WELCOME FOR ALL THE BREASTMILK!" and it always breaks the ice and changes the mood. It's especially fun if they are bellyaching in front of their friends :p.

[kathy caribe]

Oh, maybe that was it. I definitely read it as negative. Perhaps you're right. I think that kids can definitely see *their* life as *normal* and then see others as really surprising. I know I did as a kid.

I'm having trouble seeing how shock can be negative but I appreciate that you think it is. When I wrote shock, I meant very very very surprised. How else is one shocked? I actually asked Pike and he said he was surprised (I gave the example of the hair thing) because (generally, we wandered about in the conversation) he thought everyone else parented the way we do. Now I know that isn't true; he knows very many people parent differently, but I think what he was getting at is that we're good friends with the neighbors and we all get along so well that he expected us to be very much alike. Even though he knows that in some things (religion for one) we are polar opposites.

I think it is somewhat normal for children to think that the world is very much like their world and I can only hope that the travel we do, the exposure to other worlds and cultures, will open their eyes to other worlds.

[kathy caribe]

I read it the same way as you, one thing that occurred to me though is I attributed negative connotations to the word shocking (as in shocking means upsetting) but perhaps she meant it another way- as in shocking = surprising, and her kids are surprised to find people all do things differently and live different kinds of lives, and maybe in some scenarios thats bad, but in others it is good.

Now I see how shocking could be negative and I'm sure they are somewhat upset to find their friends don't enjoy the same freedoms that they do, but we try very hard, even when we disagree strongly with another way of doing things, to try to find the positive in it and to stress that is is "different"; not wrong and not bad.

And yes, you hit the nail on the head; shocked = surprising and differences between families.

[kathy caribe]

That was my initial reaction too but then when that brick came flying at me from outer space, I reframed it to mean that THEIR world was a lovely place and that Kathy does what she can to protect them from the not so lovely elements for now. I have mixed feelings because it just depends on the entire context of their lives AND it's not my business LOL *but* I think she might have meant that they were shocked to find that OTHER people's worlds were not as lovely. Or wouldn't be for THEM.
Or something like that LOL.
ANyway, I am so not on the same page but when I sat back and considered Kathy's feelings I was able to see it in a different context, even if I don't agree.
I hope I haven't mischaracterized you, Kathy!

thank you; you hit the nail on the head. We always try to stress DIFFERENT but i'm sure Pike (very black and white) sees different as "not lovely". We are working on that but when you're very happy with a situation, even if you're not a black and white person, I can see how you'd still frame differences as "not lovely" so while I'd really hope for "different" I totally see why they might think "not lovely". I personally think "different". But I'm sure if i thought hard enough, I could come up with a "not lovely".

[indigo]

I'm having trouble seeing how shock can be negative but I appreciate that you think it is. When I wrote shock, I meant very very very surprised. How else is one shocked? I actually asked Pike and he said he was surprised (I gave the example of the hair thing) because (generally, we wandered about in the conversation) he thought everyone else parented the way we do. Now I know that isn't true; he knows very many people parent differently, but I think what he was getting at is that we're good friends with the neighbors and we all get along so well that he expected us to be very much alike. Even though he knows that in some things (religion for one) we are polar opposites.

I think it is somewhat normal for children to think that the world is very much like their world and I can only hope that the travel we do, the exposure to other worlds and cultures, will open their eyes to other worlds.

Seriously? You've never heard "shock" with a negative connation? Imagine a fine lady looking at a ragtag dirty boy coming to visit her daughter. Imagine her saying, "I'm utterly shocked!" LOL.

Not to get all dictionary.com on you, but here are a couple definitions:

1. To strike with great surprise and emotional disturbance.
2. To strike with disgust; offend.

I think that "shock" can be neutral or even positive, but the more common usage is negative. Even the first definition, which isn't as negative as the second, does mention "emotional disturbance" so it's something other than "very surprised."

I appreciate that you didn't mean it negatively but I hope you can see how it could easily have been read that way. And that when I said that I hoped they wouldn't always be shocked I meant that sincerely, because it's important. From your last sentence, I gather that you feel the same way.

[mirage1]

I think that kids can definitely see *their* life as *normal* and then see others as really surprising. I know I did as a kid.That's what I read from Kathy's post, as well. Once in a while something will come up with Cassie where, for instance, she sees a mom in a grocery store just totally grouching at her kids, like "I don't care what you want, shut up and put that down, I don't know why you think you have the right to touch everything." Cassie is utterly appalled at that and feels upset that a human being is talking to another human being that way. I LOVE that she sees that as so clearly NOT the way to act, or as behavior to accept as normal.

So yeah, she does see some things as shocking that other kids might not. I suspect Kathy's kids are the same way.

[mirage1]

I'm wondering how other people have handled this. I am worried that I gave her too much information but she kept asking questions! Have you discussed things like abortion and rape with your 10 y.o.? Did you give details or just sort of skim over the information?
I don't think it has come up with Cassie. Weird that I can't remember for sure... I know we've talked about various methods of birth control (because for some reason we were talking about sex not necessarily resulting in babies) but I don't think abortion has come up.

[Bickery]

It seems like "shock" as in "culture shock" is the closest definition that you meant initially.

Culture shock describes adjustment and acclimating to a difference more than an absolute negative change.

[~PQ]

It seems like "shock" as in "culture shock" is the closest definition that you meant initially.

Culture shock describes adjustment and acclimating to a difference more than an absolute negative change.

I was just thinking how uniquely YAAPS this is...lol, in other circles if there is a discussion about an abortion related topic and a debate ensures, it tends to be about well... the ethics/morals/legality of abortion! Here at YAAPS though, we debate the linguistics. :rofl::rofl:

[Bickery]

I was just thinking how uniquely YAAPS this is...lol, in other circles if there is a discussion about an abortion related topic and a debate ensures, it tends to be about well... the ethics/morals/legality of abortion! Here at YAAPS though, we debate the linguistics. :rofl::rofl:


LOL -- well, we've already done the ethics/morals/legality!

[Bonny]

No. Well, my almost-15yo has an understanding of it. We didn't "sit down and have a talk" about it, but I believe we have discussed it.

I have not discussed it with my other 4, and they do not have any knowledge of it. Afaik, this would apply to my almost 13yo ds as well.