PDA

View Full Version : Figuring out next steps for my mother



azul99
07-01-2010, 07:50 AM
It's been a rough ride since early May. After my mother had been in rehab at nursing home #1 for a few weeks, I traveled to Boston and learned some ugly things: They had changed her meds without consulting me; had lied to me about her doctor's (non-)affiliation with the place; and her room and adjoining bathroom were filthy. There is more ugliness, but suffice it to say I'm sending a strongly-worded letter to the Massachusetts regulator today. Very upsetting.

Anyway, upon learning about these things, I had her transferred to a facility where her doctor has admitting and visiting privileges, where she has been making much better progress in two weeks than she had made in a month at nursing home #1. The PT staff, for example, talked to her about her love for golf and tennis when she was younger, and based on that info got a putting green device and some badminton racquets to incorporate into her PT. Apparently she is so enthusiastic about putting and hitting balloons around with a racquet that they have to tell her to stop, that she's done enough for today. LOL

Such a relief.

She'll be done with rehab in a week or two, and I'm 99% sure that I am going to have her moved to the assisted living for memory-impaired residents unit of the same place - it's brand-new, family-owned (not publicly-traded as her current assisted living facility is), and small (max capacity 21 people). The doctor told me that most of the current residents are high-functioning as dementia goes, which is good for my mother's purposes, because she can still engage, and enjoys engaging in conversation. The memory-impairment unit at her current community, OTOH, is generally populated by people farther along the dementia path.

The worrisome part is financial - this place costs a breathtaking amount each month. I pray that she doesn't outlive her money.

elizabeth
07-01-2010, 08:02 AM
I'm sorry this is so hard. It sounds like you have a good plan in place right now.

Storymama
07-01-2010, 08:36 AM
{{{Sally}} The new facility sounds exactly right. I love the PT story :-)! Please let me know if you'd ever like to meet up for lunch on a Boston trip, you can just vent or decompress or whatever.

sarahs
07-01-2010, 11:00 AM
{{{{Sally}}}} Its really hard when our parent is in a different state. I saw my mom struggle with this and am not looking forward to it myself. I'm glad you have a good set up for her at this point. Keeping my figners crossed that her money holds out.

A_Marie
07-01-2010, 12:03 PM
Thinking of you!!!!!

libbylibbylibby
07-05-2010, 06:59 AM
((((Sally)))
I'm sorry that you are continuing to deal with this, but it sounds hopeful. Will the new unit take medicaid if it comes to that point for your mother?
I'm north of Boston, and will make the same offer as Mandi -- our hospitality is available to you if you would like it (I know sometimes you would just rather NOT meet with anyone else after dealing with medical and health stuff all day too!)
Take care,

Tangwystl
07-05-2010, 09:24 AM
I'm so glad you have found a place you are happy with. That first place sounds heartbreaking. :( (((Sally)))

mirage1
07-05-2010, 06:18 PM
I'm sorry, Sally...it does sound like the new place is a positive change, though!