Update on cell phone for trip....

[indigo]

I'm telling you guys...I don't know if I'm just easy to annoy now that I'm sick of this middle school program or what, but this is getting on my nerves.

I actually went ahead and emailed the teacher about the issue. I explained that I only wanted it to be used for an emergency. I said that it would be turned off, not taken out to be used as a camera or anything, and that I'd check it after the trip to make sure that there was no texting, etc. done. I haven't gotten a response.

Meanwhile another parent told me that she asked the teacher and was told that the rule stood because...kids are actually LESS safe with a cell phone because if they are seen using a cell phone they are at risk for being mugged for it. Um...ok.

We suspect that the real reason, though, is that they worry that some kids are going to take the phones out and text, etc. rather than pay attention to the programs, and the teachers are unsure about controlling that many kids.

So now I'm less sure than ever about what to do. I really think that I'd prefer for her to have a phone with her because I strongly believe it adds a measure of safety. The teachers have not talked to the kids AT ALL about what to do if they are separated from the group...and they're leaving Monday morning.

I guess I'll wait to see what the response is to the email. But I'm just so sick of this. I hate putting my kid in a position where she is breaking a rule. But then I am the parent, and I have an opinion about what makes her more safe. I guess my option is always that I can keep her home, but I'm not prepared to do that.

Another thing that pissed me off is that the kids were told today that they had to choose a book for a book report and that it had to be over 250 pages and challenging and they have to choose by tomorrow. Hello? They did have a "suggested list" but the list stayed at school and K never got a chance to even look at the damn list because she had testing in the morning and classes in the afternoon. We didn't have time to go to the library tonight so she just had to go through books that we happened to have at home and choose one. Oh, and every kid has to be reading a different book.

I signed the dumb form for the book report (we have to sign everything) but I wrote on it that I didn't think they gave the kids enough time to choose a book.

I don't know if I'm just pre-disposed at this point to being pissed off or what. But K told me that if she doesn't get into the art school for next year she refuses to go back to where she is. And if the ridiculous way the teachers deal with parents is any indication of how it is for kids, I don't blame her.

OK I'm done kvetching.

[Sue]

:rolleyes: thta's ridculous! I really really hope she gets in the art school!!

[Bickery]

Before you got there, I was thinking of saying something like, "You seem to be feeling dissatisfied with this school."

[indigo]

Before you got there, I was thinking of saying something like, "You seem to be feeling dissatisfied with this school."

Yeah, you know, it's weird, because I've been such a fan of the school for so long. My kids have attended since they were 3. But something this year is just rubbing me the wrong way. i think part of it is that with the move to adding a high school some things about the school that used to not be transparent are transparent and I'm not liking what I see.

[Bickery]

Yeah, you know, it's weird, because I've been such a fan of the school for so long. My kids have attended since they were 3. But something this year is just rubbing me the wrong way. i think part of it is that with the move to adding a high school some things about the school that used to not be transparent are transparent and I'm not liking what I see.

I see an educational trend that may possibly be designed to combat helicopter parenting.

We kinda had a trip that sent up a lot of red flags for me for 3/4 graders recently and I have a feeling I'm being labeled "overprotective mommy" as we speak.

[indigo]

I see an educational trend that may possibly be designed to combat helicopter parenting.

We kinda had a trip that sent up a lot of red flags for me for 3/4 graders recently and I have a feeling I'm being labeled "overprotective mommy" as we speak.

Yeah, I can see that as part of it. The funny thing is that I've probably approached the middle school teachers 2 times the entire year with any quesitons or concerned, but I'm definitely labeled an overprotective parent. Basically any parental involvement at all is seen that way.

I told dh that they want no parental involvment so that no parents will look and say "the emperor has no clothes."

[lunita]

I see an educational trend that may possibly be designed to combat helicopter parenting.



Maia's school is specially designed to cater to helicopter parents. We're not just encouraged to be super involved in everything, we're expected and required to be. :tinfoilhat: (okay, thats a tinfoil hat, but it kind of looks like a propeller, eh?) I'm so not worthy of the super moms that populate the schooll :supermom: Seriously, since Nelson isn't working from home and I've never worked out a convenient (and free) way to have Lucia safely watched by someone else, I have barely been involved. At another school my involvement (which is as "homework mom" and "bookorder mom") would be above average but in this environment I feel positively negligent. I haven't been on a single one of the monthly (or more often) field trips ... some parents go on every single one.

[libbylibbylibby]

Lord help us!
Honey, you need to come volunteer at our school! We have about 12 volunteers for over 400 students. But I get the whole "I must look negligent," because I can't go to everything, I just can't.

[lunita]

Lord help us!
Honey, you need to come volunteer at our school! We have about 12 volunteers for over 400 students. But I get the whole "I must look negligent," because I can't go to everything, I just can't.

Every single parent agrees to volunteer in some capacity for at least an hour a week. Many do a lot more. When Amanda was in first grade and dh was working from home with flexible hours, we regularly volunteered 3 or 4 hours a week. There are a lot of SAHM's, and many families with otherwise flexible schedules that allow them to volunteers -- families who own their own business or are self employed, for example. I also know a number of grandparents who do volunteer hours on behalf of their grandchildren (that's another thing -- if you have more than one child at the school you are supposed to volunteer an hour for every kid). People who get involved with fundraising or the school play often do that much or more. It's crazy, but it really makes for a neat school community (the kids all know each others' parents, and I knew every single kid in Amanda's grade, not just in her class).

[indigo]

Every single parent agrees to volunteer in some capacity for at least an hour a week. Many do a lot more. When Amanda was in first grade and dh was working from home with flexible hours, we regularly volunteered 3 or 4 hours a week. There are a lot of SAHM's, and many families with otherwise flexible schedules that allow them to volunteers -- families who own their own business or are self employed, for example. I also know a number of grandparents who do volunteer hours on behalf of their grandchildren (that's another thing -- if you have more than one child at the school you are supposed to volunteer an hour for every kid). People who get involved with fundraising or the school play often do that much or more. It's crazy, but it really makes for a neat school community (the kids all know each others' parents, and I knew every single kid in Amanda's grade, not just in her class).

That's kind of how it is in my kids' school too. It's not required that we volunteer but lots and lots of parents do. I can't remember a day when I didn't see at least one parent in pretty much every classroom. Not every parent volunteers because many can't because of their jobs. But lots do.

Until middle school, when all of a sudden if you have any interest in involvement you're considered to be a hovering parent. Because of course by the time a kid is in 7th grade they are completely grown and don't need parents anymore.

[candeo]

Arg, I'm really frustrated on your behalf!

If the real reason they don't want cell phones is because they're worried they can't manage a group that size and they'll be texting all over the place, then they need to say that. And really, they need to figure out a way to deal with that, because truly it ain't so hard - but if for whatever reason they really believe that the vast majority of kids will spend all their time in this really cool city ignoring everything and simply texting their friends, then maybe they just need to come clean with that and tell you that they can't manage that. If they did, then you and other parents might be able to put your heads together and come up with some ways you could support a distraction-free cell phone management policy with your kids.

But telling you that they think the kids will be less safe because they will be mugged is BS. I can't honestly imagine that they could possibly go anywhere that they might be mugged, with or without a cell phone. DC is one of the most segregated, compartmentalized cities in the world, and chances are that even the most loosey-goosey, let the kids find their own way kind of field trip - of 8th graders! - isn't possibly going to stray out of the mugger-free zones. Of course it's technically possible they could be mugged wherever they go, but I just don't buy that having a cell phone will make that more likely. Don't you think the muggers already have cell phones themselves? I really think they do.

Whatever - it just sounds flimsy and lame and if I were in your shoes I would, yes, be even more irritated now than when this whole thing began.

I hope you work it out. And I hope she gets into the school she wants, because it seems pretty clear that both you and she have outgrown this one.

[indigo]

Arg, I'm really frustrated on your behalf!

If the real reason they don't want cell phones is because they're worried they can't manage a group that size and they'll be texting all over the place, then they need to say that. And really, they need to figure out a way to deal with that, because truly it ain't so hard - but if for whatever reason they really believe that the vast majority of kids will spend all their time in this really cool city ignoring everything and simply texting their friends, then maybe they just need to come clean with that and tell you that they can't manage that. If they did, then you and other parents might be able to put your heads together and come up with some ways you could support a distraction-free cell phone management policy with your kids.

But telling you that they think the kids will be less safe because they will be mugged is BS. I can't honestly imagine that they could possibly go anywhere that they might be mugged, with or without a cell phone. DC is one of the most segregated, compartmentalized cities in the world, and chances are that even the most loosey-goosey, let the kids find their own way kind of field trip - of 8th graders! - isn't possibly going to stray out of the mugger-free zones. Of course it's technically possible they could be mugged wherever they go, but I just don't buy that having a cell phone will make that more likely. Don't you think the muggers already have cell phones themselves? I really think they do.

Whatever - it just sounds flimsy and lame and if I were in your shoes I would, yes, be even more irritated now than when this whole thing began.

I hope you work it out. And I hope she gets into the school she wants, because it seems pretty clear that both you and she have outgrown this one.

Well we finally had a conversation today, me and the teacher. She admitted that a part of the problem was that there are kids who she thinks will be texting instead of doing what they should do. I just don't see that as such a problem. I mean, you deal with it. This is NOT a bad group of kids! And she maintained that part of the problem was that kids "waving around a cell phone" would get mugged. Silly.

Then she really pissed me off by saying, "If a parent does not think that their kid will be safe without a cell phone we can arrange it so that the kid is right next to an adult the whole time."

Nice.

Finally it came down to this. She said she wasn't searching backpacks and she gave me her cell phone number.

So K will have a cell phone and it will have the teacher's number just in case.

Jeez. Talk about making a big deal out of nothing.

Even if K doesn't get into the arts high school she's not going back there. She said she'd rather be homeschooled until she does get into the arts high school. (And, truly, if she doesn't get in it would just be a matter of space for the program for her grade - not because of qualifications or anything, so she's be on a waitlist.)

I guess I've lost confidence in the judgment and leadership of the school. That's what it comes down to.

[Kim]

Oh hell, send a contraband phone. She doesn't sound like the type to wildly text and wave it about anyway. I would feel the same about sending something for that length of visit. NT

[Bonny]

ugh. I will be so glad for you when this school year is over! (nt)

[elizabeth]

Arg, I'm really frustrated on your behalf!

But telling you that they think the kids will be less safe because they will be mugged is BS. I can't honestly imagine that they could possibly go anywhere that they might be mugged, with or without a cell phone. DC is one of the most segregated, compartmentalized cities in the world, and chances are that even the most loosey-goosey, let the kids find their own way kind of field trip - of 8th graders! - isn't possibly going to stray out of the mugger-free zones. Of course it's technically possible they could be mugged wherever they go, but I just don't buy that having a cell phone will make that more likely. Don't you think the muggers already have cell phones themselves? I really think they do.

Whatever - it just sounds flimsy and lame and if I were in your shoes I would, yes, be even more irritated now than when this whole thing began.

I hope you work it out. And I hope she gets into the school she wants, because it seems pretty clear that both you and she have outgrown this one.

There are plenty of muggings on the Mall, in front of the White House, in Geogetown. Not normally teens being mugged for their cell phones, but as with any city, one needs to be alert and conscious of their surroundings. The tourist areas of DC are not any more or any less dangerous than any other big city.

That said, I think K should have the cell phone and if my dd was going on the trip, she would certainly have hers, regardless of it being countraband. The rigid, uptight, follow every rule in the book middle school principal let our 7th graders take their cells to Canada, even though the superintendent's office said they could not relax the no cell phone on field trip rule for the trip.

Distracting texting can be easily controled with a bag&tag rule that the teachers/chaperones enforce. They do it in much larger populations in public schools without an issue.

[indigo]

Oh hell, send a contraband phone. She doesn't sound like the type to wildly text and wave it about anyway. I would feel the same about sending something for that length of visit. NT

Well, she's off! She's got the contraband phone with the teacher's cell phone number on it. I told her that when she got back I would check for any cell phone usage, especially texting. I don't think she'll take the thing out.

She is very, very excited about this trip.

[indigo]

Distracting texting can be easily controled with a bag&tag rule that the teachers/chaperones enforce. They do it in much larger populations in public schools without an issue.

Don't worry, I know that crime happens anywhere (including at home; well not IN our house but you know what I mean.)

And what you're saying here is the part that has just left me shaking my head. This is a good group of kids. Really! There aren't any real defiant kids here. And they are worried that they can't get the kids to follow the rules? Sorry, that just doesn't inspire a lot of confidence for me.

[elizabeth]

She is very, very excited about this trip.
xxxx

[indigo]

Couldn't she just delete the texts and the received/dialed calls list? That's what E would do....and....maybe R frankly (though R would be more likely to leave them there, and then say that it wasn't her....she lent her phone to ____ and they did it}. Although you should be able to check your bill {or go online and check}. But I wouldn't rely on what you see on the phone.

LOL. I told her that! I said "And don't think I'm just going to look at the phone. I can see on the bill!" Great minds and all...

Although saying she lent the phone to someone would get her in just as much trouble as if she was doing the texting.

[mirage1]

Well, she's off! I'm excited for her! I want so much to take Cassie to DC but I keep not planning a trip, somehow.

[indigo]

I'm excited for her! I want so much to take Cassie to DC but I keep not planning a trip, somehow.

I guess DC is sort of a big deal for folks on your side of the country, huh? For us it's no big deal (although going without your parents is a big deal apparently!) but OUR thing that we keep talking about is the Grand Canyon. But we never do it. It seems so involved and we're so lazy.

[MamaAnnie]

I know it would be a big trip, but DC is one of our favorite places to go with kids. Last spring break, we went for 5 days and stayed here (http://www.hotelhelix.com/), where we got a suite for a great price.

One of the cool things about DC is that all of the national museums are free. And you can spend hours in them!

I might also have a particular fondness for DC because a friend of mine here in town gave us the name of a woman who used to sit for her, but works in DC now. SO we had a sitter we felt totally comfortable with - not the norm on vacation for us!

I hope y'all get to go. You and Cassie would love it!

[lunita]

I guess DC is sort of a big deal for folks on your side of the country, huh? For us it's no big deal (although going without your parents is a big deal apparently!) but OUR thing that we keep talking about is the Grand Canyon. But we never do it. It seems so involved and we're so lazy.

I think Margie hasn't gone to the big hole in her backyard yet (or at least she hadn't last year when we went. I can't remember if she posted that she made it out there this last summer?)

[mirage1]

I think Margie hasn't gone to the big hole in her backyard yet (or at least she hadn't last year when we went. I can't remember if she posted that she made it out there this last summer?)errr.... ummm....well, still no.

I hope it doesn't like fall in on itself soon, I'd feel so silly for waiting! :embarass: